Haru Haru
by WalkingEnmity
Summary: Heero is determined to maintain safe distances from everyone, except Duo with whom he keeps an arm lengths distance from. What happens when another man finds interest in Heero, challenging Heero's philosophy and relationship with Duo? 2x1, 6x1 AU Yaoi
1. His Unbridled Selfloathing

Chapter 1

It was utterly ridiculous that he was acting like this, that he was thinking this way. He needed to regain control of his mind, his life. If he continued like this, surely nothing good would come of it. He was already ostracized by most of the population, need he further this status by acting this way? It was infuriating. It caused an array of emotions to grow within Heero that he wasn't ready to confront or even acknowledge. This fact made him even more upset. He needed to separate himself from the situation, from _him_. He needed to start living his life independently. This co-dependency bullshit was unhealthy-

"Heero? Please try to lighten up, this is suppose to be fun." Quatre spoke softly to Heero so that the others in their company would not hear. Heero slightly turned toward Quatre, acknowledging the fact that the boy was trying to save him from embarrassment but also realizing that he did not need nor did he want any such assistance. Quatre's innately good personality was sometimes trying on Heero. He didn't want the other boy to act as if he were some poor indigent soul who needed saving. Most of the time he could not stand the looks of pity and understanding that he saw reflected in the other boy's eyes. Quatre's angelic like features did not help this effect much either. He was a petite man of twenty-one, whose soft blonde hair nicely framed his cherub face. His skin was pale and radiant. He was a well-intentioned person who had put up with Heero's quirks ever since he had befriended _him. _Remembering all that Quatre had done for him thus far, Heero gave Quatre what was intended to be a slight smile but turned into a grimace. Quatre did not seem to mind, and understood that Heero's display and lack of ability to express his feelings was nothing personal. Quatre gave a small, encouraging smile and returned to his beverage.

"I don't know why the fuck we had to invite him in the first place. Fucking charity case…" The stage whisper was cut short by what Heero was sure was a kick of Quatre's foot into the commentator's shin. Chang Wufei gave a slight grunt, but did not dare argue of to defend himself. Without another glance at Quatre or Heero, he haughtily left the table. Heero watched him retreat with no real emotions or feelings either way about the exchange. His small frame belied the strength and martial arts knowledge that it contained. He too was slightly smaller than Heero, with shoulder length jet black hair set in a tight, low ponytail. Wufei wasn't fond of Heero at all, a fact that did not bother Heero in the slightest. The other boy was forever making similarly snide comments about Heero or directed in Heero's direction. Quatre had taken it upon himself to be the mediator of the one sided rivalry. He often tried to control Wufei's rude remarks and make sure that they didn't offend Heero. Heero could care less about the other boy's remarks, they meant nothing to him.

Wufei wasn't particularly pleased with Heero's presence at the party, and Heero could hardly blame him. Heero didn't smoke, he didn't drink, and he didn't socialize. If Heero were Wufei, he wouldn't like himself either. But this didn't matter. Heero wasn't in this horribly cramped dorm room for Wufei or for Quatre. He wasn't in that room to experience _real_ college life or make new relationships. He was there for _him_. He had dragged himself from his computer, his only source of comfort, for Duo Maxwell. He had forced himself to come to this ridiculous college party just to _see_ him tonight. So far, he had been left with nothing but frustrations and regret.

He watched as Duo floated around the room, from person to person, acting as the ideal host. He hugged and kissed everyone he encountered, greeting them with his all too goofy smile. His hair was tightly bound in his usual braid, running down the length of his back almost to his buttocks. His legs were clad in dark washed skinnies. His legs were slim, long and graceful looking. He sported a pair of purple and gold Nike high-tops dunks that spoke of style and money. Of his quirky fashion of the day, he dawned an oversized white t-shirt reading "I want a Japanese Boyfriend". Of course the characters were written in Japanese and Heero knew that the boy had no idea what the t-shirt actually said. Duo probably thought that it looked stylish and had bought it on impulse. Heero did have to admit that Duo did look attractive tonight. His skin somehow managed to radiate despite the horrible black light lighting the room. He carried himself with a form of grace and beauty that was completely unrivaled by anyone in else in the room.

He was center of attention and he knew it. He flirted with everyone in room, except Heero. Heero watched in aggravation as Duo slung his arm loosely around the waist of one of his female guests. She gave a small giggle and nestled closer. Duo took a drag from his blunt and smiled at the girl as he blew the smoke out. He leaned closer to her and whispered something into her ear. She responded as Duo, and Heero, had expected her to. She laughed loudly and gave Duo a small kiss on the cheek. He laughed in return. Heero felt his hands tighten around the water bottle he was holding. What had he said to her? Heero didn't care. He was sure it was the same generic, sleazy thing he said to all of the women he encountered. Nothing of substance, nothing but lies.

As Duo leaned in to whisper something else, he momentarily looked up and caught Heero's eyes. Without breaking eye contact, he whispered another one his infamous one-liners, receiving yet another laugh from the girl. Heero's eyes were on fire. Did he deserve to feel this way? Perhaps not, but he felt so any way. He felt and intense amount of envy and frustration. Why was Duo doing this? Duo said something else to the girl, who nodded. He took another drag of his blunt and approached Quatre and Heero.

"Hey Quat!" Duo interjected, giving the other boy a hug and kiss. Quatre responded enthusiastically by giving Duo a kiss as well. He grinned up at Duo.

"I noticed that you had Jessica quite engaged," Quatre observed with a slight smirk on his face.

Duo shrugged his shoulders and smiled slightly. "Well, you know how the lady's just be loving this!" He gestured toward his body, causing a little giggle to escape Quatre, who was already tipsy. Duo turned his attention to Heero then. His smile widened as he plopped himself next to Heero on the futon. Heero didn't expect the usual greeting of a hug and kiss that Duo's other friends ritualistically received. Their relationship wasn't like that. Duo knew that Heero didn't like to be touched and respected this quirk. "Hey Hee-chan!"

Heero responded with a grunt and took a drink from his water bottle.

"What? Water again? Hee-chan, come one! This is my room for god's sake! Didn't I tell you that no water was allowed? Quatre!" He turned toward the other boy, "please fix my Hee-chan with one of your wonderful concoctions!" Quatre gave a slight smile as he rose from the futon to fix a drink at the haphazardly designated desk turned bar. "Hee-chan, I don't know why you're forever coming to these parties. Seriously, you never drink anything, never want to smoke. Fuck, you never even talk to anyone! You're a certified fucking Buzzkillington!" He laughed loudly at his own reference and looked to Heero expectantly.

Heero simply shrugged his shoulders.

Duo snorted, "Oh please tell me you watch Family Guy?" When Heero didn't answer, Duo gave a dramatic sigh and collapsed deeper into the futon and propped his feet on a small coffee table conveniently placed in front of them. "Damn, Hee-chan. That's another cultural miss that we must add to your ever growing list of cultural ignorances. One day I'll cure you of all you junk entertainment ignorance." He took another drag and glanced up at Heero.

Heero looked down at Duo, realizing that despite his foul mouth and bloodshot eyes, that he was still beautiful. He still managed to enthrall Heero to no end, to the point that no amount of inebriation or marijuana intake could corrupt Heero's image of him. He held a type of truly wild freedom and spirit that was atypical of many college students' superficial wildness. Heero was sure that most of the kids in this party's fake liberalism, open-mindedness, and free spirit would disappear once they entered into the real world. Once they were confronted with the "real world's" expectations, they would easily adapt to being another number at another generic company. Heero knew, however, that Duo's unbridled freedom and wildness would remain well past his time at college. That he would forever remain such a unique enigma despite societal pressures. It was this characteristic that made him remain beautiful in Heero's eyes no matter how much he destroyed his image.

"What?" Duo asked when he noticed that Heero was staring at him.

"You're high." Heero simply stated.

Duo shrugged and smiled. "Yup! And I'm bout to get you fucked up! Where's Quatre with your drink?"

"I'm here. Here you are Heero," He handed Heero a solo cup filled with some cloudy undistinguishable substance. Heero nodded his head in thanks and placed the drink on the table next to Duo's feet. Duo sighed and rolled his eyes as he watched Heero politely refuse the drink.

"So, Duo…" Quatre started, leaning back onto the futon and taking another small drink from his cup.

"Yeeeesh?" Duo purred.

"So, I invited someone to your party."

"That's cool. Who's going to sign him into the building?" One of the more annoying things about their campus was that guests who lived outside of each dorm had to be signed into the building by one of its residents after 8 pm. It was a nuisance that had always left a sour taste in Duo's mouth.

"Oh, no worries, he lives on the 9th floor."

Heero and Duo paused. A slow smile crept up onto Duo's face as he realized what that actually meant. His eyes turned to resemble something close to mischief as he realized that the 9th floor of the building was reserved for those students who identify as LGBTQ or allies. Duo became more alert at the prospect of another male with whom he could engage in all types of activities. The gay community of the campus was so small and incestuous that the prospect of meeting someone new outside of the community was highly arousing. Although Duo did appreciate the familiar men within the community, he was already in his fourth year of school and had already exhausted all of his options. The men in the school were being too familiar and ordinary for his liking. He was excited that there would be someone new for him to engage with. Heero had to admit to himself that he was curious as well. While he did not belong to Duo's community, he was familiar with the group as he spent much time with Duo and had started to find the group somewhat monotonous. At the same time, he was also apprehensive at the thought that a new man meant another person that Duo could possibly be attracted to. This meant less time with Heero, less of a chance for Heero to… No, tonight was not the time for Heero to think of such thoughts. He had decided to strip himself of such thoughts as he realized they could never come to fruition. Why torture himself with what will never be?

There was a knock on the door that had the three men turn in anticipation, Quatre in interest, Duo in anticipation, and Heero with slight apprehension. One of Duo's guests opened unlocked the door for the newcomer then resumed his conversation.

The man that walked through the door was not disappointing in the least bit, and Heero was slightly put off that he was actually attractive. The man was a tall, slim Latino man. He wore his chocolate brown hair in a bizarre and daring fashion. It was cut low in the back and quite long in front, parted to cover one of his sharp, green eyes. His style was quite plain but classic at the same time. He wore fitted, grey jeans tucked into black Doc Martins. He wore a tight green turtle neck that refused to belie the heat in the room that had covered everyone with a nice sheen of sweat. He scanned the room slowly, unhurriedly, taking in the appearance and actions of every person in the room. He had an attractive look of apathy that Heero found to be off-putting nonetheless. When his eyes reached the trio's table he studied each individual carefully. His eyes ran up Duo's body carefully, surely appreciating the young man's firm body and taking in his abnormally long braid. His eyes then fell upon Heero. He gave Heero the same evaluation, finally coming to lock eyes with Heero's icy gaze. The other man's eye contact did not waiver, however, unlike most people who find themselves trapped in Heero's gaze. The other boy finally broke eye contact, not out of defeat, but as if he was no longer interested in acknowledging Heero. When his eyes came to rest on Quatre, he paused and gave a slight nod.

"Damn." Was all that Duo could mutter as the young man approached their table.

Quatre stood and embraced the young man when he reached them. The younger man returned the gesture in a slighter, yet still affectionate form. Quatre turned to Heero and Duo to make introductions. "This is my friend Trowa. He just transferred here. We met in our Astronomy class. He's a fourth year like us. And this, Trowa, is Duo whose room we're in now and Heero."

Trowa gave Duo a once over again, nodded. He quickly glanced at Heero and gave him a very slight inclination of his head. Trowa settled on the already small futon between Duo and Quatre.

For the rest of the night, Heero was invisible. Duo had practically turned his back to Heero for the remainder of the night so that he may focus all of his attention on his new infatuation. He flirted relentlessly with Trowa, taking every opportunity he could to touch him in some way, and not always so inconspicuously. Trowa took this attention in good stride. He didn't appear to be a man of many words, but by the short amount of comments that he did make, it was easy to tell that he was intelligent. He humored Duo's prattle about celebrity gossip and pop music without judgment. He even allowed a smirk or two to appear in response to some of Duo's more crude jokes. Quatre did not seem uncomfortable with the pair's attraction and frequently interjected his opinion into the conversation. Throughout the rest of the night, though, he did shoot some unsure and concerning looks towards Heero who sat quite passively and silently.

Heero was not terribly annoyed by the amount of attention that Trowa was receiving nor was he terribly upset about how much he was being ignored. Situations like this always occurred when he was around Duo and he expected nothing less. It was hard to have an engaging conversation when only one party is actively talking while the other simply grunts in response. Hero understood this and could not blame Duo for giving his attention to others who were more engaging. Heero instead used his time observing Duo and listening to the conversation that he and Trowa were carrying. Duo's movements were so animated as he spoke with Trowa and Quatre, arms, hands, and whole body moving with each word. His voice was a lovely baritone that seemed to permeate the sounds of the music and all other voices. His laugh was high, frequent, and at some points forced. It was obvious that he was trying to impress Trowa and that he was interested in the other man.

Heero rolled his eyes at such actions; certain that Duo need not try so hard to get someone to like him. Almost anyone who was attracted to men found Duo charming and desirable. Even if his personality, which could be much at times, was not as attractive to someone, Duo's well-built body, easy and familiar nature made it hard not to like him in some fashion. Heero was not impervious to such bewitchment. He recognized this. That bewitchment was the only reason why he was on this futon being ignored.

"What do you think, Heero? That is your name right? I apologize, I'm quite terrible with names." Heero blinked in response to his name, lost in his own thoughts and reflections. He glanced in the direction of the three men and realized that the question had come from Trowa. His voice was calming, steady, and rang of maturity caused by experiences that Heero could not imagine. Against his own will, he realized that he thought the voice was pleasant.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening to your conversation. What did you ask?"

"We were discussing the Proposition 20, you know to decriminalize marijuana. What position do you take?" Trowa asked in that same steady voice. Heero looked into his one exposed eye briefly before turning to Duo as the boy laughed loudly and answered for Heero.

"Hee-chan? Ha! He's never even been formally introduced to Mary J. She's still waiting for him to deflower her. Gives me dirty looks whenever I take a puff!" To emphasize his point, Duo took another drag of his blunt and smiled goofily at Heero.

Heero did not return the smile and looked at Dup coldly. "Actually, I completely agree with the decriminalization of marijuana. In fact, I think that most of our illicit drugs should be decriminalized. Studies show that criminalization does not act as a deterrent and that decriminalization will not incite more abuse than at the level that already exists," Heero continued, "to be honest, the government's involvement with our whole drug system, prescription or otherwise is just another system of control."

Duo paused, mouth agape in an overly dramatic fashion. Quatre was nodding seriously in agreement while Trowa simply stared at him with a curious look. Heero met Trowa's eyes with steady eyes of his own, unwavering under the other man's pervasive gaze. He couldn't figure out why Trowa was looking at him in such a manner. Was what he said seemed so bizarre because his other companions had alcohol and weed in their systems? Duo watched Trowa watch Heero, an unsettling look crossing his face. His lips formed a slight pout when he realized that he was no longer the center of attention.

"Damn, Hee-chan. I've never heard you say so much in one sitting! Who would have thought that pot would get you so talkative? Amazing. Tonight is just fucking amazing! What's next? Are you suddenly going to start being social now? Are you finally about to get that stick out your ass? Oooooh, or are you finally going to stick something up your ass for once? See Trwoa, this poor boy needs a good fuck like a homeless man needs a good piece of Thanksgiving turkey. Are you trying to make Trowa into your turkey with your fancy talking and shit?" The hostility was not lost on Heero or anyone else who was present.

Heero paused, then said, "No, Duo, I'm not." He stood and faced the trio. "It was nice meeting you Trowa. It was also nice seeing you Quatre." He gave the two a slight bow. He turned his attentions to Duo whose heavy lids were staring pointedly at his feet with a slight scowl on his lips. "Duo, thank-you for inviting me to your party. It ended as expected."

With that, Heero turned and left room, silently closing the door behind him.

As soon as the door was shut behind him, Heero sighed loudly. He pressed his body against the closed the door for a moment, breath slightly labored in an emotion close to anger. He didn't know exactly what that feeling was. He was feeling slightly embarrassed, angry, and silenced. He knew that if he had said something to Duo with others watching, he would come off as the asshole. As unrealistic as that may seem, Heero knew it was the truth. No matter what Duo did, people loved him. People forgave even his most horrible impediments, insults, and mistakes. The same could not be said for Heero, who was an outsider in Duo's group of friends.

Heero pushed off the door and started to head back to his dorm. It was a cool night and Heero's dorm was far away. The campus was large enough to have two buses running every fifteen minuets to take students across campus. Duo's dorm was located in the Northern part of campus called Northeast where as Heero resided in an Area called Southwest. As their names implied, these residential areas were on opposite sides of campus. As it was past midnight, the buses only ran every half hour, forcing Heero to walk back. He didn't mind the walk as it gave him plenty of time to reflect on the night's events.

Why had he even gone?

Duo knew he went too far. He knew he was acting like a complete jerk. He knew this as he was saying those words. The problem was that he didn't make an attempt to stop these words. He knew he was hurting Heero. He knew that he had said some ridiculous things a moment ago. The crazy thing was that Heero wasn't even gay. Why had Duo made such a snide comment about Heero's sexuality when everyone knew that he wasn't gay? Was Duo falling into the heterocetric behavior of degrading men by questioning their sexuality? Or was there another reason he was doing this? Trowa had looked at Heero in way that he didn't appreciate, that he didn't want to see again. Looks like that should only be reserved for him and be done by him. No one else. Trowa was a newcomer; he didn't have the right to look at Heero that way. Duo felt challenged. As if Trowa was questioning his friendship with Heero. Showing that Trowa had the ability to separate them with just that one look.

Duo watched silently as Heero paused and simply looked at him, his face expressionless and stoic as ever. Heero never said much anyway, but this time, his curt reply was chilling. He was ever so courteous as he left the party, bowing and giving his thanks for the invitation. This isn't what Duo wanted. He wanted Heero to get angry, to yell, to say something other than "thank you". He wanted Heero to show some emotion, some feeling. Anything.

Duo watched silently as Heero left the room, unable to say anything to him or the other men. In honesty, he wanted to apologize; he wanted to bring Heero back. But his pride and dignity refused to let him do so, forcing him to remain seated.

"I'm sorry Trowa. You'll have to excuse Duo and Heero. They often fight like this. Besides, Duo is definitely not in the right state of mind. I'm going to start cleaning up." Quatre made his escape from the awkward silence and headed towards the makeshift bar.

"My, that was quite a show. Is it true that the two of you are always like that?" Trowa inquired without judgment showing on his sharp features.

Duo glanced at Trowa as they spoke. He man didn't seem to be terribly bothered by what had just transpired nor did he seem to think low of Duo as a result of his insensitive actions. "No, well… kinda. I suppose it's complicated. Heero is just too nice of a guy I think. I'm not that nice of a guy. I'm kinda abrasive to tell the truth. I swear we don't mix well at all, but he's my best friend so I guess something has to be working."

Trowa just nodded slightly. He paused, then asked, "So the two of you are just friends then?"

Duo's eyes grew dark with some deep thought that Trowa wasn't able to quite understand. Duo had placed his blunt on the table and exchanged it for Heero's abandoned Solo cup. Duo stared into the contents of the cup as if lost in thought. He finally glanced up at Trowa. "Me and Heero? Nah… no way!" He forced a big goofy smile on his face. "I like my men with feisty! Heero has a personality that rivals a wet rag, anyway."

"So you guys have never hooked-up or anything?"

"Trowa! I just met you man! What's up with all the crazy questions? Look, you help me kick all these people out, then help me clean. Maybe after that I'll fill you in on some juicy details." Trowa paused slightly and gave Duo a peculiar look before nodding in agreement.

It wasn't until 3 in the morning that the three of them had managed to expel everyone from the room. It took an additional hour to clean the mess that the guest had made. Duo didn't mind the cleaning, however. He had the company of Quatre and Trowa to help with the process, making it more enjoyable. Besides, the cleaning time also allowed him time to think and the process the night's events. So many interesting things had occurred that night and Duo wish that he knew himself and others well enough to truly understand what had happened. Unfortunately, this was not the case, leaving Duo to wonder about Trowa, Quatre, and especially his treatment of Heero. Duo could not honestly understand why Heero was friends with him, why the other man would put up with such a person like him. Duo knew that he was obnoxious and intolerable. He knew it and others around him knew it. Why anyone would stay next to him, he could not figure out to save his life. Duo had learned just to accept it and bask in the attention. He was slowly starting to discover, however, that his attitude was pushing people who he wanted by his side further away. It was something that he couldn't really control and didn't know how to even begin to grasp reign of.

"Duo, where do you want me to put these?" Quatre called out, holding several ping-pong balls in his hands.

Duo glanced up and frowned in slight disgust as he noticed how dirty the balls were. He didn't personally play beer pong, but his guests did. He knew that most people didn't mind playing with such nasty balls, but he couldn't bring himself to keep them any longer. "You can just toss those Quat. They're nasty as hell." Quatre gave a nod and tossed the balls into the large trashbag that they had designated as the temporary trashcan.

"What time is your roommate coming back?" Trowa questioned, startling Duo as he didn't realize that Trowa had been standing next to him for some time now.

Duo paused and thought for a moment. Where _was_ his roommate? Duo couldn't remember seeing him for sometime now. Maybe a week? Or two? The guy was always off somewhere for extended periods of time. It wasn't as if Duo was concerned or worried about the other boy's well being. Honestly, Duo couldn't care less about the whereabouts or the condition that the other boy was in. He and his roommate, Muller, did not have the best of relationships. Whenever the two of them were in the room together, the tension would be immense making not only the roommates themselves uncomfortable, but anyone else who happened to be in the room uncomfortable as well. The tension did not arise, as Duo can happily say, through any fault or misdeed of his own. Muller was highly uncomfortable with the idea of having such a sexually ambiguous roommate. Duo still looks on their first meeting with such sick joy that it's a wonder that Duo was later so surprised that Muller retained so much animosity towards him.

The first day of the semester saw Duo rushing to move in the little things that he owned hours before his first class started. The first day of move-in had occurred several days earlier and Muller had already settled into the room, figuring that his scheduled roommate had had a room change or something. When Duo arrived, he looked a mess. His hair was in a half braid, clothes wrapped miscued around his body, holding a dingy duffle bag and a wild look in his eyes. Muller had been justifiably taken aback by Duo's sudden appearance both physically and aesthetically. Duo's eccentric clothing and behavior started to make Muller weary of his roommate. The fact that if Duo had wanted, he could pass as a girl and had pictures of men around his bed also added to Muller's dislike of Duo. His actions soon started to reflect his feelings as he and his friends began to treat Duo cruelly. Whether it was snide jokes about Duo's appearance or sexually or locking Duo out of the room when going to restroom, Muller's hatred had grown to be very apparent. Duo had exhausted all of his options to find another room, but the school was currently in a housing crisis and he had been lucky to have been granted housing as he was a fourth year, the year least likely to get housing. If he had opted to leave the dorm, he would have to live off campus, an expense that his financial aid was not willing to cover. So, Duo had to endure Muller's abuse for one more semester and he would be finally free. Free to do what, Duo wasn't sure, but he was certain that he would not have to deal with Muller any longer. This fact was enough to get Duo through the next several months.

"Honestly Trowa, don't know, don't care. Come on, let's finish cleaning, I'm tired." As he spoke these words, Duo's stomach released dramatically loud grumble.

Trowa smirked slightly. "Are you sure about that? I suggest we eat something as soon as we finish."

Duo nodded enthusiastically. "I'm always down for eating! Hey Quat! Wanna order Wings?" He shouted across the room. Quatre gave a simple thumbs-up in response. Trowa looked at Duo questionably. "Oh yea, you just transferred. Wings is the best wings place around here! It's so delicious and cheap. I swear I can eat 10 whole chickens on my own!"

Trowa gave another slight smile. "I think I'll pass. Thanks though."

"What the hell are you talking about? You _have_ to experience this with us! I wanna take you Wings virginity!"

"That's going to be quite difficult Duo. I'm vegetarian."

"Pssshht!" Duo said obnoxiously. "So is Heero! I swear, is it something about silent types that make them all herbivores. I always try to make Heero eat meat, I mean he's too skinny! You've seen him. Kid needs some meat on his bones. He always tries to pull this holier than thou routine whenever it comes to meat like he's some fucking monk. One day while he's sleeping, Imma shove some steak down his throat." Duo started to chuckle. "Oh god, that would be too good. I should call him now and tease him!" Duo paused and looked at Trowa a little sheepishly, realizing that he had been blabbering on about Heero excessively. Trowa simply gave a small, wise, smile in response and went to a different location to continue to clean.

Duo dug into his pocket for his cellphone, a crappy Nokia phone that Duo was certain was no longer even in production it was so old. He quickly opened it and pressed the "last call" button. "Hee-chan" appeared successively in the list, causing Duo to smile slightly. He impatiently shifted his foot from one to the other while waiting for Heero to pick up.

"This is Heero Yuy. I cannot come to the phone right now, so leave me a message." Heero's stony voice resounded through the other end. Duo dramatically took the phone from his ear and looked at it, as if it was the phone's fault that Heero hadn't picked up. He called the number three more times after that, all calls reaching voicemail. Duo bit his lip slightly, unable to understand the concept that he did not always have to get what he wants. On the fourth call, Heero finally picked up.

"Yes?" was the other man's short, tired sounding answer when he finally accepted Duo's call.

Ignoring the dangerous edge to Heero's voice, Duo proceeds to blabber. "Aye, Hee-chan!" Quatre looked up at the mention of Heero's name, with a tense look on his face. "So you're not going to believe what I just found how. Remember mister mystery from the party earlier? Trowa? Yea, well, he's a bunny and tree huger just like you! Maybe it's a brooding guy thing that I just don't understand, but I thought it was pretty funny and had to tell you! We're about to order Wings, Hee-chan. What do you normally get when we order it so I know what to get for Trowa? Oh, how about you come over?" There was silence on the other end of the phone. Duo waited patiently for a response. When none came, he asked, unnerved, "you there Hee-chan?"

"What's wrong with you?" Came the low, but still chilling question from the other end.

"What do you mean?" Duo asked innocently, although he had a nagging feeling that he knew what the issue was.

"Do you honestly think that I'm about to come over there now, after the way you acted?"

"Well, I…"

"Do really think that I want to speak to you now? How dense are you?"

"Hee-chan…"

"Enough with the 'Hee-chan'. I'm not in the mood for it right now."

"Why are acting like someone killed your puppy? You need to calm the fuck down."

"I 'need to calm the fuck down'?" Heero's voice, which was already strained, sounded even more startling as he rarely swears. "Tell me why do you think I should calm down, after you treated me so?"

"Well…Hee-chan, we always play around like that. I was a little drunk, you know. You know how I get sometimes when I've had a little something to spice up my BAL." Duo released a nervous chuckle before moving to the other side of the room, away from his two guests, giving himself some needed privacy.

"Am I really that easy to you Duo? That you can say and treat me however you want and then forget it so easily?"

Duo gave a nervous chuckle. "Come on Hee-chan. You're making me feel like we're in some ridiculous drama, the way you're speaking. You know that I don't mean anything I say when I'm like that. Hell, I don't even remember what I said." _Liar_, Duo thought.

"Duo, don't lie to me. I'm tired of your worthless excuses. For once, just grow-up and accept responsibility for the things you do and say."

"Oh, Heero, here you are again with your almighty, perfect attitude. As if you're so fucking grown up! Kid never had any struggles, yet he's so grown up. I'm so fucking tired of it that I could spit."

"Is that so?" was all that Heero said, calmly and evenly, infuriating Duo even further.

"Heero, you think you're so-"

"Listen," Heero said just as firmly as when he answered the phone, "you keep acting like this, I'm not sure how much more I can take. If continue like this you won't have me by your side."

"Oh, cause I'm going to fucking mourn the day when that-"

"I'm hanging up now." And with that, the line was dead. Duo stood dumbly with the phone still to his ear, unable to believe that Heero had actually ended their conversation so abruptly. Duo had plenty more things that he had wanted to say to Heero, that he had wanted to hurt him with. This was their typical pattern whenever they got into a quarrel. Duo would loose control of his emotions, speak and act irrationally, while Heero remained calm and completely in control of both his own emotions as well as Duo's. This skill only served to infuriate Duo more, pushing him to say more hateful things to get a rouse out of the other man. He sometimes wanted to prove to both Heero and himself that Heero had emotions and cared about what others thought.

Duo gave a small jump when he felt someone's hand rest lightly on his shoulder. He turned to see Quatre's knowing and comforting face.

"Really Duo, must you be so harsh? Heero is really sensitive."

"Pssssht. Sensitive? The boy has no feelings. No emotions. No nothing. He's just an empty shell. Sensitive my ass." Duo shrugged off the other's hand went to where Trowa had sat, looking through the Wings' menu online.

Quatre gazed warily as he watch Duo put on his all too familiar act of light-heartedness and enthusiasm. Quatre was becoming tired of seeing Duo play this familiar act so much that it was becoming second nature. "He criticizes Heero for not having any emotions, but he can't even express his own." Quatre signed and resolved that there was nothing he could do that night to alleviate his friend's pain.


	2. Running Away from Circumstance

Chapter 2: Running Away from Circumstance

Waking up was definitely hell the next morning. Heero opened his eyes to the blindingly bright light of the next morning with a heavy feeling on his chest and mind. He hadn't be able to sleep as well has he had wanted to the previous night, with thoughts of his confrontation with Duo fresh on his mind. He hated that he always lingered on such things and felt embarrassed that he didn't have other things to preoccupy himself with. The fact of the matter was that he was lonely, alone, and virtually friendless. If not for Duo's constant nagging, Heero was certain that he wouldn't see other human beings other than the times he went to class, communal bathroom and encountered his roommate. He found that he was unable to relate to others and often found it difficult to even muster the motivation to _want_ to relate to anyone else. It wasn't that he saw himself as superior to others, but that he saw virtually everything in his life as a transient state. Everything that happened in his life was brief and temporary compared to his entire life span, compared to the entire universe. With this state of mind, what was the point in trying to make relationships with other people, when he knew that in a moment of years or even months, they would no longer be a part of his life? College was no exception. He had four years with a massive group of people that he figured he would never fully know, as a lifetime isn't even enough time to understand the complexity of human beings. Additionally, they would all disperse and go their different paths, separate from one another in four years time. Why should he try to linger? Why attempt to make relations that will soon be disbanded? Heero saw it as a wasteful effort.

Heero also understood, however, that this leads to a sad and pathetic existence. He wasn't so far gone into his constant contemplative state to appreciate this fact. This is why he was grateful to Duo in some ways, who had been his first true friend and only person he had kept a relationship with for any amount of time. This is why he was often hurt whenever it seemed like the two of them would separate, leaving him to fully confront his isolation and loneliness. Their interdependence upon one another was unhealthy at times, Heero knew, but he couldn't conceive his existence as it currently was without Duo. Although he acted aloof, Heero thought and felt things deeply. Perhaps deeper than he knew himself.

Heero lay still on the bed, staring at the ceiling contemplating all of this. He knew he needed to get up, that there was no time for him to lie in bed any longer. But, he couldn't bring himself to get up. He had no motivation to leave his bed. It was 8:30 am, much too early for his liking.

"Shut that thing off!" The muffled and irritated voice of Heero's roommate rumbled across the room. It was then that Heero realized that his alarm was still resounding, sending the music of Kato Kazuki across the entire room. Heero sighed heavily. Kato Kazuki wasn't an artist that Heero particularly liked. In fact, he truly didn't like much contemporary Japanese music at all. He found it rather monotonous and predictable. Heero found that the ancient sounds of then samisen more to his liking. He only had Kato's music on his iPod because Duo was obsessed with the singer. Heero knew that Duo couldn't understand a single word that the singer was saying, but that he enjoyed watching him sing and move more than anything else. Duo had given Heero the music, which he had reluctantly taken and uploaded onto his iPod. Whenever he heard the music, it put him in a tranquil state as it reminded him of Duo and amused him to no end with the horribly campy and dramatic lyrics.

Heero shuffled out of bed and turned off the alarm. Fully awake, he quickly changed into his bathrobe, grabbed his shower caddy and headed to the showers. He hated his school's communal showers more than anything. Heero fully distrusted the showers and his floor mates, certain that they were in constant mischief in the stalls and spreading all kinds of foulness. But it turned out that a hot shower is what Heero needed to fully wake himself and his mind up. He briefly ran over his class schedule for the day, deciding which classes were necessary for him to attend and which ones he could manage not to sit through. He also made a mental checklist of the items he needed to grab in town before he went back to his dorm. In an attempt to avoid as much interaction as possible, Heero always tried to consolidate all of his errands to a central time that he would be out, instead of having to make multiple trips. Heero was certain that he could get his errands accomplished in about an hour, allowing him time to return to the studio and finish a sculpture that was due in a week.

Having fully cleaned, dried, and dressed himself, Heero was finally ready to leave for the day. Heero wore his standard outfit: black skinnies, loose fitting hunter green tank, and heavy combat boots. He didn't bother glancing at his hair, as he knew how it would look: unruly and as defiant as he was. He had learned long ago that there was no use in trying to tame it, as it seemed to have a will of its own. He glanced at his watch as he grabbed his messenger bag. _9:30, just in time for me to make the 9:35 bus._ Heero raced out of his room to catch the bus across the street. His first class was across campus and would take at least 20 minutes to walk to, making the bus a more desirable method.

Heero caught the bus right as it was leaving his stop, causing him to swear lightly under his breath. As his stop was one of the first on the lines, Heero was able to get a prime seat in the back of the bus. Back of the bus for Heero meant less attention and more privacy. Also, it was early, so the likelihood that the bus would fill up was very slim. Heero changed the song on his iPod from Kato Kazuki to La India, something much more to his liking. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, reveling in the vibrant sounds of salsa that were pulsating through him.

Midway through the bus ride, Heero felt a presence sit next to him. He was irritated, as he never appreciated anyone sitting next to him and the fact that he was certain that there were plenty of seats on the bus for this person to sit in made him more irritated. The bus had only stopped a couple of times, allowing for only a handful of people to possibly come abroad. So why was this person sitting so close to him when there were other options available. Heero decided that today was not the day for him to get into any confrontations; he didn't need the additional stress. He decided to ignore the person as much as possible. He smelled a distinct vanilla fragrance coming from the newcomer that Heero found pleasing in spite of himself. He was fairly certain then that the person who had sat next to him was a woman. He definitely did not want to the have a confrontation with a female and have to break the respectful boundaries that he had placed onto the opposite sex. Heero then started to hear a noise coming from his new neighbor, making it obvious that the person was trying to get his attention for some reason. He could faintly hear a man feign a cough and then speak. Heero was certain that the man did not realize that Heero was wearing headphones as the cord was tucked into his clothes and his unruly hair covered the earpieces. So, his new neighbor was a man. A man that smelled like vanilla, Heero mused. The man gave another fake cough. Heero, with his eyes still closed, grimaced and turned the volume on his iPod higher. Nothing was going to disturb him and his plans today, that was certain.

When Heero felt that his stop was coming up, he stood briskly and staggered slightly to the door, holding desperately to the railing. He didn't bother trying to look at the person who had attempted to talk to him, there was no need. Seeing who that person was wouldn't be advantageous at all, giving Heero no reason to look. Heero stepped off the bus quickly and slipped into the studio arts building.

It was about five minutes until class started, giving Heero enough time to change into his sculpting class. Their current project was working with plaster, a difficult to manage and messy material. It required that he change into clothing that he didn't mind getting ruined with un-removable material. Heero slipped into a grey pair of old, fitted jeans and an oversized blue shirt. He quickly put on a pair of old, second hand boots before looking for his cap. It wasn't that Heero was high maintenance that he had to keep his hair covered, but he knew that getting plaster out of hair was not the easiest task. Heero glanced at his watch; he had about three minutes until class began. He continued looking for his cap when his phone rang. He sound made him jump slightly as he was used to the silence that being isolated in a locker room gave. Without glancing at the caller ID, Heero immediately answered.

"Hello?" he asked while sifting through the abandoned lockers in search of his cap.

"Hey," came a small voice. Heero paused, immediately knowing who was on the other end.

"Hey," was all Heero could say, trying to decided if he was still angry or not at the other man.

"What are you up to Hee-chan? Wanna grab some breakfast?" Duo asked hopefully, obviously scared that Heero make have a go at him again.

"I'm about to go into to sculpture right now, so I can't talk." The reply came out a little more curtly than Heero had intended it to.

"Oh," was all that Duo could manage.

"You know that sculpture is usually at least three hours, so I won't be able to make any breakfast. But I'll probably be free around 1 or so. We can lunch then."

"Yea? Ok, Hee-chan! Let's go to the Oak Room for lunch! I need my Asian cuisine fix for the day!" The Oak Room was one of the dining places on campus that exclusively served mostly East Asian food. Heero and Duo frequented that particular dining commons, as it was one that fit both their tastes and had a great atmosphere.

"Hn."

"Or I could just gobble you up instead, Hee-chan!" Duo gave a loud, throaty chuckle at this. Heero found himself smirking as he and Duo were getting back into their comfortable roles of bully and victim. Arguing honestly did not suit the two well at all. Already, not even one minute into the conversation, Heero was wondering why he had ever considered the fact that he could remain angry at Duo longer than a day. This was the way he wanted to be feeling towards and treated by Duo, making almost anything that Duo did forgivable so that they could maintain such a relationship.

"I suppose you could do that Duo. Look, I need to go to sculpture, but I'll see at the Oak Room around 1:15." Not one for goodbyes, Heero hung up the phone. Heero put his possessions in his locker, sighing as he locked it. He had concluded that there was no hope in finding his cap and that he had to make due without it.

Sculpture was to be expected that day. It was long, arduous and had exhausted Heero. He finished with his assignment a couple of minutes early and was glad to have the extra time to walk leisurely to the Oak Room.

As he was walking from the studio arts building, one of Heero's sculpting tools fell from his bag onto the sidewalk. As he stooped to retrieve it, he smelled the familiar aroma of vanilla. Heero paused slightly, wondering if it was actually him that smelled of vanilla the entire time. Perhaps something that he had washed his clothes in, or a fragrance of someone he encounter at the party last night? As he reached for his tool, he found a pale hand extending the instrument to him. Heero looked up partially in annoyance and partially out of curiosity. He looked up to meet eyes with a startling pair of icy blue ones, staring intensely at him. Heero froze slightly, temporarily transfixed by the other person's gaze. The other boy stood slowly, tool still in hand. He was a little over six feet tall, with long blond hair that was let loose down his back. He wore nice, form-fitting clothing that were reminiscent of military attire. It was a fashionable look that was growing trendy. He had a young, but strong and beautiful face that was noticeable as his hair. If Heero was to be honest, the other man was breathtaking. Heero was certain that he had never seen him before and that he was the man on the bus from earlier. He had a presence that was extremely graceful and tangible. Heero was certain that this was the man from earlier. His scent was even then same.

Heero finally rose and took the tool from the other man, not bothering to show his appreciation for the kind gesture.

"I saw you on the bus earlier and now I see you here. It's amazing that each time you could have such an astoundingly attractive scowl on your face." The other man's voice was smooth and light. It held such power and maturity that Heero felt slightly overwhelmed by the sound of it. The voice was almost melodic in the way that it washed over Heero and put him at ease. Because of this, it wasn't until a moment later when Heero had been able to process what the other man had actually said. "Astoundingly attractive"? What did this mean and when was Heero ever described as something attractive?

"Pardon?" Heero asked.

The other man laughed lightly to himself more than at Heero. "I'm sorry, I've got you all flustered. My name is Zechs Marquise. Pleasure." Zechs extended his hand. Heero glanced at the extended hand, stuffed his tool into his bag, nodded at Zechs and turned to take his leave. As he turned, Zechs caught his arm. Heero turned back to face him, eyes wild in disbelief that a stranger would actually lay a finger on him. Heero was certain that his glare would be enough to make Zechs recognize that he had overstepped all bounds, as his glares usually have that ability. Instead, Zechs steadily looked at Heero back, seemingly unnerved by his glare.

"You didn't tell me your name," was all Zechs said in a normal voice as if all that was transpiring was completely normal.

"Release me. Now," Heero all but growled at Zechs, who simply smiled in return.

"I apologize. I have clearly stepped my bounds. Please forgive this trespass." Zechs apologized. He released Heero's arm and looked expectantly at Heero. Heero in response simply scowled, unsure what the proper response should be.

"What is it that you want?" Heero asked, curious about the other man's motives for some reason.

"Nothing really. I simply saw you on the bus earlier and thought you seemed interesting. I was walking by on the way to the library and saw you again. I simply wanted to say hello. Is that so odd?" Zechs questioned.

Heero drew his lips into a tight, disapproving line. "Yes, it is. I don't speak with people I don't know. Nor do I appriciate being held onto in such a manner."

"Of course not," Zechs agreed in a manner that made Heero feel a little uneasy, "But meeting each other so many times within such a short time period is certainly odd as well. I think that gives us the excuse to act oddly, don't you think?"

"No, I don't. I've somewhere to be, so if you'll excuse me." Heero started to turn.

"I don't want to keep you. Hopefully I'll run into you again soon and get to know you better. Have a good day." With that Zechs turned and walk down the sidewalk as if their conversation had been completely normal. Heero silently watched him go, certain that Zechs wasn't a real person and their conversation hadn't just happened. Surely people don't talk and act like this in real life?

Although he was highly irritated, Heero couldn't help feeling curious about Zechs and his motivations as he walked to the Oak Room. What had he meant by he will get to know Heero soon. _Why would he want to do such a thing_, Heero wondered, unable to understand Zechs' motivations. Surely there was some reason that he went to such lengths to speak with Heero. Perhaps they had a class together and the other man wanted a study companion. Or perhaps he too was slightly lonely and needed some companionship. Whatever the reason, Heero was certain that it wasn't something that concerned him, so he decided to remain removed from the entire situation. Heero was certainly not in the mood to contemplate the motives and actions of others, for he had other things on his mind that were slightly more pressing at the moment.

Heero arrived only five minutes late to the Oak Room, to find that Duo had already gotten a booth for them, two trays of food and had already begun eating by himself. Heero watched as the thin man stuffed an impossibly large amounts of lo mien into his mouth, following it with a large gulp of iced green tea. A piece of lo mien stuck to Duo's chin, left behind after Duo's torrent of eating. He deftly slurped up the remaining noodle with a satisfied grin. He then set his attention to the pho soup that was left alone steaming on the other side of the table. Duo did not hesitate to pick up a pair of chopsticks and a noodle spoon and began to work on his soup. As Heero approached, Duo glanced up. Spotting Heero, Duo gave him the toothy, goofy grin that he always gave Heero when seeing him.

"Hee-chan!" he waved and shouted as if Heero were deaf and blind. Heero decided that such an adolescent act was not worth him getting embarrassed or irritated over. Instead, he gave his classic small smirk and approached the table.

"Hee-chan, I got you the pho soup that you like so much, but it was taking you so long to get here and I was so hungry…" Duo feigned regret as he gave a large slurp of soup. Unable to maintain his look of regret, Duo broke into another toothy smile and continued to eat.

"Duo, you do realize that I'm only five minutes late. How a person could consume so much food in such a short period of time, I've no idea."

Duo shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "Well, you know me. There's some stir-fry over there if you want it." He nodded towards the plate of mixed vegetables doused in what was likely to be soy sauce and sweet and sour sauce. There was an array of vegetables including bok choy, broccoli, mushrooms, bamboo shoots, carrots, and celery. A combination that Duo knew Heero enjoyed. Feeling slightly elated that Duo thought of him so well and prepared this meal for him, Heero brought the plate in front of him and began eating.

"So why were you so late?" Duo asked between slurps and mouthfuls of noodles.

"I got caught up," was all Heero said. He wasn't quite sure why he didn't tell the truth and explain what happened with Zechs. For some reason, he thought that he shouldn't tell Duo what he had been doing and who he had just encountered. Even through this doubt, Heero was certain that withholding this information from Duo was an appropriate action and that doing otherwise would have an adverse effect.

Duo grunted in response, never stopping from feeding himself. Their lunch proceeded without incident, both virtually forgetting their fight from the previous night. The two of them were much too content with being happy with one another than with being irritated. The way they were at that moment was exactly how they wanted to remain.

"So Trowa," Duo started, slightly on edge. "He's pretty cool. You know how we usually play video games on Thursdays? Well I mentioned it to Trowa last night and he said that he would like to tag along." Duo glanced at Heero's face quickly, trying to read the other man's face. "You, know, if you don't mind too much," Duo added quickly.

"Hn. He didn't really seem like the video game type to me."

Duo shrugged his shoulders, moving on to a California sushi roll. "I dunno. He said he wanted to come, no prompting from me. I mean, you don't really look like you play video games either."

"Hn. Yea? What do I look like then?" Heero questioned.

Duo looked up and stared at Heero. Taking in his soft, messy brown hair, unruly with traces of plaster. His strong features and piercing cobalt were nicely accented by his strong jaw line and angular face. His body under the oversized sculpture outfit that he had yet to change out of was also apparent. Through the clothes it was apparent that Heero carried with him a hard body that was conditioned and exercised well. He carried with him an air of aloofness and mystery that was extremely attractive and innate. It appeared that he did everything with ease and that nothing in the slightest would bother him. Duo brought his eyes back to Heero's to find that Heero was intensely staring at him. Duo made a gargled, choking noise, as he was startled to find that Heero had caught him looking so thoroughly.

"Actually Heero, you look like a big geek. I suppose it isn't too surprising that you play video games then." Heero continued to stare at Duo with an unreadable look in his eyes. He was trying to figure out the explanations to Duo's comments and answers. He should have realized by now, after years of trying, that it was impossible to understand Duo, especially by just looking at him and listening to him.

"Hn."

"So what do you say? Is it cool if Trowa comes?"

"Sure, I don't see why it would be much of a problem," Heero managed to say through somewhat clenched teeth. Thursday nights belong to him and Duo. It was a time that they could be alone without the interference of Duo's other friends and strangers. Although he was certain no one was paying attention to him, Heero felt that he couldn't relax and be himself in such a public place. This is why he preferred and looked forward to Thursday nights where he was allowed to be himself because he was out of the public realm and also because he was in the presence of Duo, who always permitted him to be himself. Despite this, Heero agreed to let Trowa come. If Duo wanted Trowa's company, who was Heero to deny him? Unlike Heero, Duo was a social person, thriving on mere human interaction. He needed people around him, talking, giving him attention, in order to feel comfortable. Heero knew this, and because of this, he planned to allow Trowa to invade their Thursday night.

"Thanks, Hee-chan. It'll be fun! I promise. I think Trowa was really interested in you. I think he thought you were some weird phenomenon. He was all like, 'Heero seems so serious and Victorian. How is it that you two became friends? I'm very curious about him'. Well, I mean he didn't say all of that exactly but he definitely called you Victorian. Victorian! What the hell does that mean? I suppose there are worse things to be called…maybe." Duo sniggered slightly.

"That's odd," Heero vaguely agreed, trying to figure out for himself what the term "Victorian" could possibly mean. Whatever the intended meaning, Heero found his minding drifting to other concerns not soon after.

For the rest of their lunch period, Heero pleasantly listened to Duo prattle on about nothing in particular, thankful for the mind-numbing effects their conversation was having on him. After parting ways with Duo, Heero continued with his day, skipping his mid-afternoon class and going back to the studio to work on his sculpture more. Afterwards he went into town to grab the several things he needed before going back to his dorm. On the way to catch the bus, Heero passed by a local coffee shop, The Dirty Truth. Figuring that it would be nice to drink coffee and reflect on his day, Heero stopped in. He enjoyed The Dirty Truth, as it was rarely crowded and served excellent coffee. It also had high backed booths that isolated guests from one another, allowing Heero the utmost privacy. Settling into one of these booths with a small Americano, Heero opened one of his newly purchased books and began to read. Heero had been reading for roughly thirty minutes before he was interrupted by some unwanted company. Heero glared as he glanced up to see Zechs settling into his booth, sitting directly across from him. The other man had ordered himself a coffee as well and sat as if it were natural for him to be joining Heero.

Heero glared harder at Zechs, unable to come up with any words that would be appropriate for the situation, as he had never found himself in such one. Zechs seemed unperturbed by Heero actions and took a slow sip of his coffee, staring intently at Heero.

"Hello again. Three times in one day! Such a truly happy circumstance," came his familiar sugary greeting. Heero continued to stare, scowl still in place. "I must have freaked you out quite a bit, hm? I give you my word that I was not following just now. You see, I'm new to this area and was in desperate need of good coffee. I stumbled across this shop. On my way to one of the booths over there," he gestured behind him, "I noticed you reading so intently. I had to give my greetings."

"Please leave," was all that Heero could manage although spoken through clenched teeth.

"Oh, that beautiful scowl. I think that made it worthwhile for me run across you. What is it that you're reading?" Zechs continued without taking much note of Heero's previous request. He did not seem in the least flustered by Heero's abrupt rudeness. In fact, it seemed as if he expected it. He reached across the table and read the cover. "_Invisible Monsters_, eh? That's one of my favorite Chuck Palahnuik books. Although, _Choke_ is a close second. Have to you seen filmed version of the novel?"

Heero continued to stare. He took another quick sip of coffee, closed his book, and shifted to leave the booth. He was unwillingly to humor this person in any capacity. He simply wanted to spend is time alone for a change, without the disturbances of others. Zechs was ruining this for him, making it more difficult for him to remain in his self inflicted isolation. As Heero moved to leave, Zechs once again caught his arm. Heero looked across at him to see a pair of intense eyes staring back at him. Something in Zechs' eyes told Heero that he was about to fight a battle that he was surely going to lose.

"Stay," Zechs said this words, not imploringly, but almost as a command.

"Who do you think-"

"Just stay. What have you to lose? What would you be doing otherwise? If you haven't got a good reason, then stay."

In Heero's mind, he honestly wanted to leave, but for some reason, something compelled him to stay. Zechs' words resounded through Heero. "What would you be doing otherwise"? Really, what would Heero do if he did not stay with Zechs. He would certainly go back to the Studio Arts building, finish his sculpture, and then go back to his dorm. Nothing eventful in those plans and nothing that spoke of unbridled youthfulness that he was suppose to express in his college years.

Additionally, perhaps he was tired of being lonely and isolated. Perhaps he did not desire that state as much as he pretended to and _needed_ contact with others. Perhaps it was the flattery that someone would try so desperately to spend time with him that compelled Heero to stay. He was not use to this type of treatment, to people actively seeking to spend time with him. As much as he tried to deny it, he had to admit that it felt comforting to know that he was wanted in some capacity. With this understanding, Heero slowly sat back down, not sure what to expect. Zechs continued to hold onto Heero's arm as he sat, a grin spreading across his face.

"You've no idea how you've pleasured me by just staying," Zechs smiled. He released Heero's arm and studied Heero a little.

"So are you ever going to tell me your name?"

Heero hesitated. He always hesitated when giving information about himself, never wanting to expose to himself too much to others. He felt that by revealing himself, he was in turn making himself weaker and more susceptible to pain. He had gotten into a comfortable habit of simply denying everyone access to him. Heero hesitated, and finally decided that he could trust this man with his name as he had previously given his so freely.

"Heero Yuy," he gruffly said.

Zechs smiled. "It's nice to meet you Heero. Shall I get you more coffee?"

"That's quite alright. I won't be able to sleep tonight if I have another cup." Heero admitted.

"I understand completely. 'Yuy', huh. That's Japanese, right?"

"Surely you could tell that I'm Japanese." Heero said, slightly annoyed. One of many things he hated was discussing his lineage and race with those outside of it. He often encountered a great deal of ignorance on their side and frustration on his side.

"I don't presume to understand people's beings and histories based solely on appearance," Zechs responded simply.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. I suppose you _look_ Japanese. But how you identify and who you really are goes beyond my perceptions and your name." Heero nodded his head.

"Well, if only more people would keep that in mind." Heero sighed, "I'm half Japanese, half white."

"Is that so? The last person I dated was bi-racial as well."

Heero shifted uncomfortably in his seat, unsure what Zechs' comment meant and what he was suppose to take from it.

"Do you know Japanese then?" Zechs asked, but not in manner in which he expected the answer to definitely be an affirmative one.

Heero nodded. "I grew up in Japan most of my life. I went to an international school while I was there, so I was able develop my English skills quite well."

"And surely your mother taught you as well?"

"I was adopted by a Japanese family, so no, my mother did not teach me English." He said stonily and simply.

"No, I suppose she wouldn't then." Zechs agreed simply, not treating the matter as anything bizarre but acting as though, given the information, he had come to an obvious conclusion.

Heero was taken aback and extremely grateful that Zechs did not respond to Heero's familial history the way that most do. Most people look awkward, become silent, or say the words that Heero hated most in response to his past "I'm sorry". These responses simply leave Heero angry and resentful. His situation was nothing to be sorry for was it was something both out of his control and his adopted parents' control. Way lament something that could not be changed?

Heero was silent for a minute or so. Zechs seemed didn't seem unnerved by this. He simply said, "I can see that you're the type of person who reluctant to talk about himself, regardless of the topic." Zechs gave a small smile, "that's quite alright. You've already told me so much about yourself anyway."

Heero was slightly relieved that he didn't need to talk about himself any longer and was glad when Zechs steered the conversation in a different direction. The two spent the rest of the afternoon and into the evening talking about an array of topics. Nothing they discussed was menial, low-brow, or awkward. In fact, with the guidance of Zechs, Heero found that he enjoyed their conversation greatly. Although, because he didn't speak much, Heero found that he was listening to Zechs the majority of the time. Heero did not mind this as he is never to one to carry a conversation or to speak for a long period of time. The two struck up a repore that was comfortable and natural, much to Heero's surprise. Heero was surprised about how much information he revealed to Zechs about himself and how easily the other man disclosed information about himself. Zechs showed patience with Heero's invert personality and didn't seem to take offense when Heero was silent or hesitant to reveal information. Heero found Zechs to be an interesting person with whom he could easily have stimulating conversations with.

Heero, however, could not prevent his hormones from making themselves known through the conversation. Heero often found himself staring at Zechs' face: his striking, blue eyes, perfectly portioned lips, and beautiful platinum hair. He could not help but often scan over Zechs' well-defined body, hidden behind a dress shirt and dress pants. It was apparent, however, that he was in excellent physical condition. His body was very lean, but also hard and solid in the places where it should be. Heero had to almost force himself not to stare. Zechs' changes in expression and shifts in position only helped to accentuate these features and make them more known to Heero. He was afraid that Zechs would notice him looking and become angry. This is why for much of their conversation, Heero kept his eyes averted and head lowered. He didn't need to embarrassment of being caught checking out his newfound companion.

As the time grew closer to 9pm, Heero realized that he needed to go to the studio and finish the sculpture that he had been working on. Slightly irritated, he realized that he would have to be at the studio until early the next morning because he was gaining such a late start that night. Heero reconciled his annoyance when he realized that he was late because he was enjoying Zechs' company, not for a nonsensical reason.

Zechs caught Heero glancing anxiously at his watch. "Have you somewhere to be? I don't want to keep you."

"I actually do need to head back to the studio and finish a sculpture that I've been working on," Heero admitted.

"It isn't a problem at all, I have some school things that I need to take care of as well. Would you like a ride back to the school?"

"I really shouldn't ask that of you. I can wait for the bus."

"Please, Heero. It's on my way home."

Heero consented. Zechs gathered their trash and threw it away on their way out of the door. Zechs directed Heero to his car, which was parked across the street. The car was a simple, standard Toyota Celica. It was small but also stylish and attractive. Heero was in no position to critique anyone's car as he did not have one himself. He always figured that any location that his is in is only temporary, so there has never been much of a reason for him to buy a car, for he would soon have to sell it anyway. Heero slipped into the passenger seat, taking in the fresh pine car freshener. The distance between Dirty Truth and the studio arts building was very short and Zechs drove very quickly, making them arrive much earlier than Heero had expected.

When the car came to a halt, Heero unbuckled his seatbelt immediately. He turned to Zechs, gave a nod of appreciation and turned to open the door.

"Just a moment Heero," Zechs said softly. Heero, unable to control himself, stopped, leaned back against the seat and turned to Zechs. Zechs was looking at him with searching eyes that made Heero slightly uncomfortable. It was as if Zechs was contemplating something very important concerning Heero and was obvious that he had doubts. The moments before Zechs said another word seemed to last longer than they actually were. "I'm very happy to have run into you the amount of times that I have today, Heero."

Heero couldn't respond; he simply nodded his head. He felt awkward, never having found himself in such a position before.

"Forgive me if I'm being terribly forward, Heero, but I would like to see more of you." Zechs looked at Heero expectantly. Heero simply froze. No words could escape his mouth. What was he to say? If he were to be honest, this was the first time he had found himself in such a position. What exactly was Zechs asking of him? Was the other man looking to simply hook-up, become friends, or something more? Heero hardly had any platonic or acquaintance relationships, let alone private relationships. Heero had no doubts in his mind that he found men attractive nor did he doubt that he wanted to have various types of relationships with men either. The problem was that he had never acted on these feelings before. He had no idea how to confront this situation. His default response to situations that caused him problems was to simply ignore them and walk away. For some reason, however, he found that he couldn't simply walk away. He wanted to stay and give a response either way. Heero considered if he really did want to see more of Zechs as well. The other man had been pleasant company at Dirty Truth and have proven to stimulate Heero's interest and mind, a feat that is quite hard to accomplish. Engaging with Zechs more, however, would be a breach in one of his rules to stay away from attachments. Heero considered the other man. Heero had to admit that he found Zechs to be incredibly attractive, both physically and otherwise. Heero felt slightly intimidated by the other man's beauty and realized that he wanted to see more of it. He had no experiences with anything of the sort, but he understood the tightening in his groin and the quickening of his breath. This was something that he could not deny. These physical signifiers along with how stimulating Zechs' personality is, made Heero reconsider his rule.

"I…" Heero couldn't figure out what to say. He stammered on like this for a couple more seconds, hoping that the words that he needed would come. He hoped that he wouldn't remain sitting there like the idiot he felt that he looked like at that moment.

Zechs smiled slightly, and raised a hand to Heero's cheek. Heero willed himself not to turn away from the touch. Zechs brought his hand lightly to Heero's cheek and gently caressed it. He studied Heero's face with an intensity that made Heero feel self-conscious. Heero sighed slightly, giving into the soothing feeling of someone touching him tenderly for once. Against his better judgment, Heero closed his eyes and leaned into the touch slightly. Zechs gently held his cheek in his palm, while using the pad of his thumb to caress his eyelid. Zechs then explored the rest of his face with his hand, slowly, as if trying to remember each line and pore. Zechs hand then brushed Heero's hair from his forehead several times as if to try to tame it. His hand came to rest at the nape of Heero nest, and once again, gently caressed the skin there with the pad of his thumb. Heero sighed slightly. He had never felt such tenderness before in his life, not from family and definitely not from a lover. He had never been touched as if he were anything precious or valuable. He wasn't even sure that he was aware that such simple touch such as that could evoke such emotion from him.

"Heero," Zechs said softly. Heero's eyes fluttered open, meeting Zechs', slightly unfocused. Zechs smiled gently at him. "Heero, you are so beautiful."

Heero paused at this. "Beautiful"? Heero? Never had he heard these words describe him before, only words such as "aloof," "cold," "austere," but never beautiful. Heero slowly felt the guard that he had built up over the years fade away, realizing that honestly all that he needed was to be told that he was something positive by someone, anyone. It was disturbing that a stranger like Zechs whom he's only known for a day could make him feel wanted by a few simple words and gestures.

"I…" Heero stammered again, unsure of what he was supposed to say at this time. His heart was began to beat faster than he had felt in some time. He didn't know how to react.

Zechs started to lean in closer to Heero, his intentions obvious. Heero felt his breath catch as he sat paralyzed with Zechs' hand gently grasping him and mouth coming closer. His stomach tightened and Heero started feeling slightly nauseous. Heero knew what was about to come, what was going to happen, but he was scared. Before Zechs could react, Heero was out of his grasp, back pressed against the car door. Zechs leaned back, startled by Heero's actions. He held a look of both surprise and concern as he saw Heero's eyes grow round with panic.

"Heero are you-" Zechs attempted to voice his concern.

"I appreciate the ride, Zechs. Have a good night." With that, Heero opened the car door and ran into the studio arts building, pulse thumping in his ear. As soon as he was through the glass doors and out of sight, Heero leaned against the nearest wall. He rested his head roughly onto the wall, willing for his heart to return to regular speed.

He was stupid, Heero decided. Heero had determined that he had acted utterly ridiculous and made a fool of himself. He was also ashamed that he had showed his fear so obviously to Zechs. Before that brief moment in the car, Heero had never been intimate with anyone before. He'd never been kissed, hugged, caressed, or held. In a matter of a couple of minutes, Zechs had attempted to do almost all of these. Heero's ignorance and fear of the unknown had made him recoil from Zechs. He didn't know if he was ready to be with someone, in any context, sexual or otherwise. Heero didn't know how to respond to the overload of senses he was feeling in the car: the shortness of breath, the accelerated heartbeat, the light stomach and the tightness of his groin. Of course Heero had been hard before in his life before that moment, but never because of something that was actively being done to him. He was scared. Confronting people intellectually and socially are all things that Heero could do without effort. This, however, presented something different. It necessitated him becoming vulnerable, something he was not ready to do.

Heero jumped as his phone rang. Slowly withdrawing it from his bag, he read the caller ID: _Zechs_. In absolute embarrassment and self-loathing, Heero pressed the "ignore" button and went into the studio.


	3. You've got the Wrong Number

**A/N: I think Heero is an extremely attractive character, so I apologize about all the _x1 pairings. I just want everyone to love Heero like I do! Please R&R! My vacation is over so I won't be able to write as frequently **** Reviews will definitely motivate me more :D Thaaaanks! Oh, p.s. yaoiness to come! Promise!**

Chapter 3: You've got the Wrong Number

The rest of the week saw Heero ignoring Zechs as much as possible. The other man had called him several times and sent him a number of text messages in the couple of days following the incident. Heero had refused to receive any of the calls, instantly deleting the voicemail messages as soon as Zechs left them, without bothering to listen. He did read the messages, however. All of them pleading for Heero's forgiveness and demonstrating Zechs' understanding. Despite this, Heero couldn't bring himself to confront the embarrassment of two nights ago. He had decided that he would take the stance that if he simply ignored the problem, it would go away as if it never happened. So far, this plan was not working. Heero found himself slightly more on edge than he normally was, snapping and scowling at people more often than usual. The only thing that he could hope for was that Zechs didn't know the people that Heero associated with and reveal his act of cowardliness to everyone. Duo had been suspicious that something was bothering Heero and had pestered him for the past several days. Heero refused to answer any of his questions, vowing that his embarrassment be kept to himself.

Finally, Thursday night had arrived, the single night of the week that Heero actually looked forward to. He begrudgingly got through all of his assignments and class work, missing only one of his classes for the day. The only thing that kept him motivated that day was the prospect of spending time with Duo, doing an activity that they both enjoyed. Heero took a long shower before meeting with Duo, ensuring that all the plaster was gone from his hair and that he looked presentable. He wore the same style of clothing that he generally wore, except this time he brought more attention to how well the articles coordinated with one another. He even attempted to tame his hair in some manner, but he ended of giving up after ten minutes of playing with it.

Heero knocked lightly on Duo's door, then opened it, knowing that it would be unlocked. Unsurprisingly, Duo's roommate's side of the room was completely bare. There was no sign that some else actually lived on that side of the bedroom besides custom comforter and pillowcases. As expected, Duo had set up the television and the Playstation. Placing in front of them rows soft pillows, beer, soda, and junk food. What Heero didn't quite expect was to see Trowa sitting on one of the pillows, casually drinking a can of beer. Heero briefly became angry, but realized that he had agreed to let Trowa sit in on their time together. Remembering this, he realized that he had no justification for his anger. He simply felt that since he had had such a terrible week, he needed to spend this extra time with Duo to help him feel right again.

Trowa looked up as he heard the door open. When he saw Heero, he gave a slight nod and raised his can in acknowledgement that Heero had entered the room. He returned the greeting with a nod of his own. Heero saw Duo in the far corner of the room sorting through his gaming collection. He only noticed that Heero had entered the room when he heard him lightly close the door. He was wearing what Heero expected him to be wearing: dark washed skinnies and a tight plaid button-up shirt. He sported his regular braid, having tightly wound it around itself and resting gently down his back. Heero noticed that Duo was faintly wearing eyeliner, making his already unusual eyes all the more startling and beautiful. He grinned manically as Heero approached him.

"Hee-chan!" Heero briefly grimaced at the nickname but continued towards Duo. Duo lifted a hand to usher Heero to where he was standing. "What game shall it be for tonight? I kinda want something soft and beautiful. What about some Final Fantasy?" He suggested.

Heero paused. "Duo, we have class tomorrow. You know neither one of us will be able to leave until it's complete. I don't want to be up all night. "

"But Hee-chan!" He wined and then said a little softer, "I'm trying to set the mood okay? I got Trowa over right? This game has beautiful romance. I wanna pull on of those *sigh* 'How beautiful it must be to find love like that.' Then Trowa's suppose to be all like 'Indeed'" Duo did a convincing imitation of Trowa's pensive and stoic face, "and then I get into his pants!"

Heero rolled his eyes at Duo's display, but inwardly became cautious and worried. He hated the idea that other men were touching Duo and hated the idea even more that Duo wanted to be touched by others. It appeared as if Duo already had his sights set on Trowa, and Heero could not honestly blame him as the other boy was extremely attractive. Heero concluded, once again, that he was going to have to take the supportive friend track and guide Duo through what was sure to be a series of seduction blunders. Heero never understood why Duo always went through such courting rituals, such as overt flirting and bodily contact, and setting up schemes such as this one to attract men. Heero couldn't understand it because it was apparent that Duo was highly desired amongst their community, giving no need for Duo to play such games. Games, in particular, that he was bad at.

Heero simply nodded and took the game from Duo's hands and brought it to the game system next to Trowa.

"Hey Trowa, is Final Fantasy cool with you?" Duo asked.

"Certainly. I'm simply here to enjoy your and Heero's company. I don't really play video games too often. I'm surprised that you do, Heero." Heero was slightly caught off guard from being directly addressed. He glanced at Trowa. The other man was at attention, showing Heero that he was entirely focused on him.

"It's something that Duo introduced me to some time ago and I found that it actually takes little interaction on my part. Thus, I grew to like it."

"Perhaps the same will happen to me." Heero simply grunted in response. Trowa didn't take any offense to the grunt appeared to take it as a natural response that deserved no special attention.

"So, Hee-chan. What's been going on with you lately, hm?" Duo started after about thirty minutes of playing. It was obvious from the trepidation in his voice that he had been trying to find the right moment to broach this topic with Heero. Heero paused, not sure what to divulge especially in front of a complete stranger like Trowa. Heero opted for the safer, elusive approached that he usually conducted his relationships with.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Hee-chan," was all Duo said as he killed off a couple of demons single handedly, just to see three more suddenly appear. He lightly cursed under his breath and held the controller a little tighter.

"Why would you think that something's wrong?"

"I dunno, you've just been especially pensive that past few days and a little distant. It's weird, you know? You're forever spacing out and staring at your phone with this look that you wish it would just spontaneously combust. Last time I checked, Hee-chan, that phone ain't done nothing to you."

Heero lightly chewed on his bottom lip and dared a glance at Trowa. The other man had enough sense and sensitivity to pretend that he was in another room and had no way of listening to their conversation, although it was quite obvious that he could hear everything quite clearly.

In response, Heero gave a slight grunt. "You've been watching me that hard the last couple of days Duo?" He asked half jokingly.

Duo responded in all seriousness, "I watch you that hard everyday Hee-chan, you just never notice." Heero paused at this. He wanted to first make sure that he wasn't reading too much into this last statement. He wanted to make sure that Duo was simply re-enforcing the idea that they're best friends and as such, they have the right, habit, and obligation to look after one another so closely. Heero made sure that his feelings weren't the ones interpreting Duo's but Heero's sense of reality and logic that was doing the translation. "Anyway," Duo continued before Heero had a chance to respond, "you're really gonna try and tell me that nothing is wrong? Really?"

"Uh." Heero sounded in agreement.

Duo sighed and gave Heero a crooked smile. "Fine. Don't tell me. But you know that you're not off the hook yet, right? There's still more hell from me to come, okay?" He looked at Heero again. "But in the mean time, help me kill some baddies so we can get to boss man, k?"

Heero nodded, grateful that he had temporarily squeezed himself out of potentially difficult questioning. Heero noticed that once their conversation was over, Trowa was looking at the two of them more intently than before. Heero felt uncomfortable under the gaze, as if Trowa was slowly deciphering his secrets one by one. Heero glanced over at Trowa and made eye contact. The other man did not look away, but continued to look boldly at Heero.

"Is there something that you need, Trowa?" Heero's voice came out icier than he had intended.

"Yes, there definitely is. But now is neither the time nor place." Trowa said in the tone that Heero was slowly starting to recognize as distinctively Trowa: very blunt to the point that it seemed ambiguous. Since their short interactions, Heero was finding that Trowa spoke directly from his mind with complete disregard how it made him appear to others or how it compromised his relationship with others. With the comments that he had made about Heero to Duo and now these comments, Heero was finding it too easy to see into Trowa's mind, thus making it harder to understand him and his motives.

"What is that suppose to mean, exactly?" Heero wondered out loud, taking care not to make his tone sound too imposing and brash.

"Nothing for now. As for your earlier question, as of right now, no I don't need anything. I simply find you fascinating and wanted to observe you some more."

Heero placed his controller onto the ground, much to Duo's protest. He didn't look too concerned about the situation that was unfolding between Heero and Trowa. Honestly, if a situation didn't involve him, Duo was never in a rush to get involved. He let a small "Heero" as a form of complaint, but Heero barely heard him as all of his attention was on Trowa. The way that Trowa said these words, made it seem as though Heero was some specimen with which to dissect and study.

"Excuse me?" Heero said to Trowa, allowing a slight edge to his voice.

"Oh, there's nothing to be offended about, Heero. I simply meant I find the banter between you and Duo interesting." He sighed heavily. "I'm afraid that the company I usually keep is far less interesting that the two of you. It's been a while since I've seen such a bond and attraction. It's quite refreshing. I'm grateful that I'm able to take part."

Heero was silent for a moment, unsure how to react. He was sure that there was an obvious hidden message somewhere in Trowa's words, but Heero was unable to find what it was let alone understand how to decode it. He decided to be honest.

"I don't know exactly what to say to that, Trowa." He admitted.

The other man lightly shrugged his shoulders. "You can say nothing. That's all right. Words don't need to be spoken all the time." He stated simply. Heero paused again and looked into Trowa's eyes. They were so honest and straightforward. With what though, Heero could not tell. Heero appreciated the words that permitted and even encouraged the silence that usually separates him from others. Heero nodded in response. "Now, I suggest you start helping Duo with the game. He's already had to use 3 Phoenix Downs due to your absence."

Heero glanced over to Duo, expecting to see his face twisted in some comical expression, demonstrating just how much Heero had ruined their game play for the night. Instead, he found Duo tight-jawed and staring intently at the screen. He held the controller so tight that his knuckles were white. Heero quickly picked up his controller and continued to play, deciding not to comment on Duo's behavior.

The rest of the night proceeded as normal despite Trowa's unfamiliar presence and the awkward conversation that they had had earlier. As usual, Duo joked about everything from the game to Heero, while Heero humored him and occasionally added his own commentary. Trowa smiled lightly the entire evening, sometimes commenting, although it was obvious that he was trying to respect the space that he assumed he had infringed on. Heero was finding that he was getting into a better mood as the night went on and soon become untroubled by the idea that he might have to break night.

Around 10, they had only gotten through a quarter of the game, mainly because Duo isn't as good as he always brags about being and had died numerous times already. Their alcohol, mainly finished by Trowa and Duo, was completely gone, as were their other beverages and snacks. Duo's stomach rumbled dramatically. He paused the game and faked embarrassment.

"Can we take a break and get some food? I'm starving!" Duo requested.

Heero sighed. "Duo, we've already been through several serving of snacks already. Can't you just hold out until the next meal?"

"But, Heero, I want _this _to be my next meal! Pleeeease?" Duo whined and complained. Heero sighed, once again realizing that he simply couldn't deny Duo anything.

"Fine. I'll run by the convenience store since I have some cash and I think Alex might be working tonight."

"Oh, is he? Yea, you better go then. I'm definitely not trying to see that guy again. Way too awkward. Although he would probably give me free snacks…" Duo pretended to reconsider, then gave an exaggerated shudder, "Nope, definitely not worth it. You know what I like, Heero so I'm entrusting you with my snacks for tonight. What about you, Trowa? What do you want?"

"That's alright. I think I'm going to accompany Heero. Besides, he needs someone to sign him back into the dorm. It's Thursday, so security is on until midnight."

"That's right. Okay, well ya'll have fun. I'm going to hang out here. Remember Heero, the cheesier and fattier, the better! I'm trusting you buddy!"

Heero gave a small grunt and nod before getting up. He briefly looked around for his phone but when he couldn't find it, he simply shrugged and headed to the door. He paused there briefly to make sure that Trowa was following him. When the other man caught up, they both headed towards the convenience store.

Heero and Trowa walked silently out of the dorm and into the somewhat muggy air. It was the transitional period between summer and fall, which left the air slightly moist but generally cool at night. Heero personally loved the weather, for it gave him a taste of the humid summers he had lived through in Japan while not being too hot to bear. It also allowed him to dress comfortably and in his favorite, relaxed attire, an outfit that would unfortunately have to be altered once the weather changed. Heero inhaled deeply before heading toward the store, which was only about a ten-minute walk from the dorm.

"Do you like this weather?" Trowa asked. Heero glanced over and realized that Trowa had been watching him.

"It reminds me of home." Heero said simply and truthfully, not offering any more information.

"Hmm. I think Duo said you lived in Japan for a while. We were neighbors for a while. I lived in Korea for some time."

"Really?" Heero asked, genuinely intrigued. Trowa didn't look Korean at all, so it as quite a surprise that he had lived there. As soon as he thought this, Heero recalled what Zechs had said about assumptions and appearances. Heero then remembered that he had said that he wished more people thought like Zechs, but here he was, doing the very opposite. Heero felt slightly ashamed of himself.

Trowa smiled softly, watching the changing expressions on Heero's face. "I'm not Korean, though. Just white. My parents were shock artists and traveled all over the world to perform. They had a very nice stint around Seoul for some time. We lived there for seven years."

Heero cocked his head to side in slight confusion. "Shock artists?"

Trowa gave a small chuckle. "They are people who perform very shocking and usually dangerous acts such as sword swallowing, walking on fire, things that could kill or serious injure those who are not properly trained. My parents' specialty was hook suspension. Placing hooks into your skin and then using those hooks to suspend your body form the ceiling. It's like a modern circus."

Heero had enough manners and respect to keep the mild shock and slight repulsion from showing as he took in Trowa's family business. It was so hard to imagine that Trowa came from such stock, as he seemed so mild-mannered and normal. Trowa did have an edge to him, though, but it had nothing to do with his family's extreme occupations. In response, he simply nodded his head.

"You take things very well, Heero. Much better than others I think." Heero grimaced inwardly, thinking _If only you could have see me a few days ago with Zechs. Then you would see how well I handle things._

"So, will you take over the family business?" Heero asked, truly wanting to know the answer.

"I've been trained to do some of the acts. I don't do hook suspension though; I care too much for my skin. But I do enjoy the other acts that I have learned from my parents. We'll see where life takes me. I have plenty of time to decide."

Heero nodded partially in agreement and partially from habit. To be honest, he didn't completely agree with everything that Trowa had just said. He had initially thought that he and Trowa had a lot in common, but with this small comment, made in passing, Heero realized that they were very different. Trowa seemed like Heero in the way that he was somewhat reserved, pensive, and had lived in Eastern Asia. But it was obvious that Trowa's views on life were quite different. That he considered his lifespan to be a long time that allowed for many experiences was obvious from his previous comment. Trowa considered life to be a long and open path whereas Heero saw it to be an impermanent, confined set of rules. Heero wasn't quite sure why he thought this was important enough to linger on, but he knew that it meant something significant.

"Heero." Trowa said simply, trying to regain his attention.

Heero turned suddenly to look at Trowa, slightly startled out of his thoughts. "I apologize, I was in deep thought."

"I could tell. Is everything alright?"

"Yes. Sometimes I get a little caught up in my own mind."

"I can tell that already. I don't mind it though. I'm a philosophy major, so I cannot fault anyone for thinking too much."

"Hn," was all that Heero could say.

"So you and Duo have these gatherings every Thursday then?" Trowa asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"Uhn. We've been doing this for several years now."

"Is that so? Am I the first person to disrupt this ritual?"

"Yes," Heero answered honestly.

"I'm sorry. I hope that I wasn't too opposing. You could have said no."

"It's alright. Your presence hasn't been too disruptive. Besides, Duo wanted you to come, so it's fine with me." Heero admitted, not denying the fact that Trowa had indeed imposed on his personal time with Duo.

"Well, I'm happy you agreed to it. I suppose you only agreed to this because Duo asked you to?" Trowa pressed. Heero was starting to get slightly irritated at this line of questioning, trying to figure out just what Trowa was trying to convey. He was, once again, asking very straightforward questions, but it was still hard to decipher the exact reasoning behind the questions.

"Yes. Duo said that it would be fine if you came," Heero replied, voice slightly on edge.

"I see. Are the two of you terribly close, then?" Trowa continued.

Heero paused, wondering the motivations behind such an invasive question. "Duo is my best friend," he responded simply.

"That's all?"

Heero stopped and turned toward Trowa. They were almost at the convenience store, in a narrow path surrounded by various trees and shrubbery. The store was perhaps a couple of feet away. Heero looked at Trowa squarely, not bothering to prevent his annoyance from showing in his eyes. Trowa looked at him with equal intensity, proving that he wasn't intimidated and that he wasn't going to back down. "Why do you care so much, Trowa? You don't know either or us. You've only met us a couple of days ago."

"I know that it seems odd. I just want to ensure that nothing is happening between you and Duo. I wouldn't want to encroach on your relationship, if there is one."

"I'll ask once more. Why do you have such an interest in our relationship?"

"Is there a relationship?" Trowa asked again, not at all unnerved with Hero's escalating aggression. He simply took it in stride and continued with his questions.

"There's no relationship of that sort, alright? We're simply friends. Duo…Duo's got all sorts of men available at his disposal. There's no room or need for me in that position. I…We're simply friends," he repeated, "best friends. Why does it matter so much to you? If you're worried that I'm some form of competition, you can put you're worries at ease." Heero stumbled through what was a monologue for him. _Duo's done it again_, he thought bitterly. Duo has gotten another one to fall for him. He has made another man confused and desperate over him. This time must have been a record, however, because Trowa fell within one week. It usually took a couple of weeks for Duo's somewhat obnoxious personality to turn into charm, but it seemed that this trait was something that Trowa had found attractive from the beginning.

Trowa chuckled softly. "That's truly endearing."

"Eh?" Heero questioned.

"You assume that I'm asking these questions due to my attraction to Duo?"

"I think it's quite obvious. It's fine. I give my consent."

"Is that so?" Trowa smiled again as he took a small step towards Heero. "Heero, I'm not interested in Duo at all. He's nice, but honestly not my ideal type."

"Oh." Heero couldn't really manage to say anything else.

"You asked me earlier why I cared so much about the relationship between the two of you? I care very much, Heero. Our community is very small, you see. Although I've only just transferred here, I've heard about you, seen you trail after Duo and only Duo. I know that you don't really associate with the others. Although you keep your distance, you existence is quite known." Trowa said simply and matter of factly.

"Excuse me?" Heero repeated for the second time that night.

Trowa gave a slight smile. "I like to be very honest, Heero, if you haven't noticed yet. Through our shared crowd, I've been watching you. What I've heard about you, what I've seen you do, the few words that I have exchanged with you have all made me want to know you more. I find you incredibly attractive and-"

Heero cut him off, "I can't listen to this." His reliable defense mechanism was in action and Heero knew that it would be hard to turn it off. He couldn't understand what was happening. How is it possible that in the past couple of days, he could be approached by two men when in his life, he hadn't been approached by one. It seemed too unreal, too impossible for this to be actually happening. Heero was sure that there was some sort of misunderstanding happening this week and that he was simply misinterpreting Zechs and Trowa's words.

"Heero, I know that this is sudden and seemingly unfounded. I know. But I want to see how far I can take this with you."

"Trowa, you can take it as far as this point. I apologize if this had made at all uncomfortable-" Heero began.

"It's alright, Heero. I am rarely embarrassed about my feelings," Trowa said softly.

"But," Heero continued, "Duo really likes you. I think he wanted to invite you in order to become closer to you. Besides, I'm not even…" Heero didn't finish the sentence.

"You're not even gay, Heero?" Trowa smiled. "I don't really believe that. Does Duo know?"

Heero paused, and then eventually shook his head. He didn't know why he never told Duo about his orientation, especially since Duo was so open about his. Perhaps he was so used to the keeping it a secret that such habits rolled over into his close relationships as well. But when Heero _really_ thought about it, he knew this wasn't the true reason. He knew that if he admitted to Duo that he was gay, he would come that much closer to having his true feelings revealed. If Duo knew Heero was gay, Heero's actions would be seen for what they truly were…He would be placed in the long line of potential suitors, leaving him open for the reject he thought to be inevitable. Heero felt the only way to prevent such rejection was to remain the straight best friend and not be seen as a potential…anything.

Trowa nodded his head as if he expected this answer. "I see. This will certainly make things a little more difficult." He said, mainly to himself.

"Regardless of my orientation, Trowa, I'm not interested. Please consider Duo. He's a great man." Heero concluded. Trowa looked at him with sad eyes, then nodded.

"Heero, as a thinker, I have plenty of free time. I don't mind waiting. I'll do as you say and give Duo a chance. But please know that my eyes will not leave you."

"That would be dishonest." Heero protested. Furious that Trowa would actually consider dating Duo while still kindling feelings for Heero.

"There's nothing dishonest about it. I am not looking to marry Duo. I'm not looking to spend my life with him. This is college, we're twenty-two. Such behavior, especially in early stages of any relationship is to be expected. Besides, it's not as if Duo actually wants me. He's harboring similar feelings as I am."

"What does that mean?" Heero honestly wondered.

Trowa smiled but said nothing. Heero sighed indignantly. "Come. Let's get these snacks and head back to the room. I would appreciate it if you did not mention any of this to Duo."

Trowa gave a shallow bow and a soft smile. "Of course not."

Heero sighed again in relief as the headed toward the store. This week was becoming more surreal for him by the moment. He didn't have the energy to analyze what had just transpired between him and Trowa. Whatever had just happened, Heero knew that it surely create some problem in the future.

Duo sighed dramatically and flopped back onto the pile of cushions that he had compiled. He stared at the ceiling and imagined the stucco designs shifting into various shapes and figures. He honestly didn't need any substances to ignite his imagination or to make him feel like he was outside of his body. All he needed was time, boredom, and a little caffeine.

It had been almost 30 minutes since Heero and Trowa had left. He couldn't understand what was taking them so long. Perhaps Alex was interrogating Heero about Duo's whereabouts? It was a definite possibility. Duo had been avoiding the other man for two weeks, something quite hard to do in their community especially with a person as sociable as Duo. They had gone out a couple of weeks ago. Duo thought that he was cute and he had been quite bored with the other men in the school. Alex had been chasing him for about a year and Duo had always played his part of the intangible prize very well. He had been ruthless with Alex, constantly flirting with him, making dates then canceling them at the last moment. He had finally conceded to seeing him once he started to realize that perhaps Alex's patience had run out. They had gone to a local Thai restaurant that Alex had paid for. Duo felt no shame in asking another man to pay for his meal. If Alex wanted to see him so bad, he could certainly pay for their outing.

Duo had begrudgingly followed Alex back to his off-campus apartment, although he knew what would be expected of him. Unfortunately, Alex hadn't known that these expectations were complete fabrications and had no possibility of fruition. They had began frantically making out as soon as they had reached Alex's apartment, with Duo simply conceding from pure need, not necessarily need of Alex. Duo knew that he needed to stop once Alex's hand traveled down the familiar path to Duo's pants. Duo had never allowed anyone to get this far. He panicked slightly. Duo had roughly shoved Alex away. Alex had looked at Duo with eyes of disbelief and astonishment when Duo had screamed that he wasn't so easy to get jack off on the first date. He had left the apartment without another word. Duo was certain that Alex wouldn't forgive him so easily, forcing Duo to avoid the other man at all costs.

Duo honestly couldn't blame Alex too much for his actions and anger, though. Duo had somehow managed to get a rather peculiar reputation of the non-virgin virgin. He was seen throughout the community as someone who had sex with many members but at the same time, wasn't considered promiscuous. It was a very odd status to be given and an even harder one to maintain. He knew that when men approached him and asked him to dates, they expected to have sex with him. The strange this was though, was that they rarely thought low of him when they took him back to their rooms. They treated Duo delicately, as if he was this innocent gem. If the truth be told, though, he was actually as innocent as they treated him. He had actually never had sexual relations before. Whenever these men took him back to their rooms, Duo had allowed kissing, rubbing, and have even permitted the men to touch him. Whenever their menstruations strayed from any of the above, Duo had always put a firm stop to it. He never allowed the men to make him cum or penetrate him. Conversely, he had never made another man cum or been the penetrater. He was a complete virgin. For some reason, Duo could never bring himself to take the final step with these men. They had all been virtually understanding, but at the same time immensely disappointed. For some bizarre reason, they all managed to keep Duo's virginity a secret. They never explicitly said that they had sex with him, but when others would insinuate about their sexual relations with Duo, the other men would simply let others assume. Duo wasn't sure if Alex was

Duo wasn't quite sure if he should be grateful for their discretion or offended that they would try to perpetuate the façade of Duo's easiness. Duo assumed the men appreciated his virginity as he found that many of them continued to approach him, knowing that he wasn't going to have sex with them. Duo figured it was a game with them. A game to see who would be able to deflower Duo Maxwell first. Duo was honestly quite disgusted with himself that he allowed such a game knowingly continue, but if he were to be honest, he needed the attention. More importantly, he needed the power. Duo had learned early on that sexuality was a very powerful tool. He had felt weak too often in his life that when he tasted the small amount of power that he could gain through his body, he was adamantly unwilling to give it up. He didn't really care how his image was perceived by anyone else…almost anyone else. Heero believed the image that Duo had painted for him. Heero had no idea that Duo wasn't as loose as he appeared, that Duo was waiting for something that would never be. Heero's opinion of Duo was the only thing that made Duo regret carrying on this fraud.

Duo's feelings for Heero were beyond complicated and deep. He couldn't fully understand them himself. He only knew that he was happiest and most free when Heero was around. He could breathe again. He didn't feel the need to put on a rouse in front of Heero, knowing that the other man would accept him no matter what. Duo knew that he felt an overwhelming and potentially unhealthy wave of sadness whenever Heero was apart from him or even worse, whenever Heero is mad at him. Duo didn't understand how to act on these feelings or what to do with them. He had been struggling with them for years, to no abate. Heero wasn't gay. Duo was certain. He wasn't even sure if Heero had a sexual orientation at all, but he knew that he wasn't inclined towards men. Duo saw this as the biggest impediment to any potential relationship that Duo could dream of.

Duo shook his head. He didn't want to think about this anymore, about Heero anymore. He was discovering that Heero creeping more and more into his subconscious and Duo didn't approve. Duo couldn't count the number of times this thought process ran across his mind. He needed to clear his mind. Duo rolled onto his stomach and opened his laptop. He signed into his YouTube account and started watching one of his favorite Korean artists, Big Bang. Duo relaxed as thoughts of Heero escaped his mind in exchange for beautiful dancing and singing Korean boys. He couldn't understand a single word they were saying, but Duo always felt that musicality transcended languages. Besides, he didn't find the Western singers as attractive, both in appearance and in music styles. Besides, Asian artists definitely gave more of the fan service Duo categorized as homoerotic than Western artists would even dream of attempting.

Duo was startled out his line of thinking by the sound of a phone ringing. Tegan and Sarah's song "Where does the Good Go?" rang through the small room. Duo knew that was Heero's ring tone. He shuffled through the pillows until he found the small Blackberry. Duo looked at the caller ID. _Zechs_. Who was this? Duo was certain that he knew all of Heero's friends and acquaintances. Heero never meets people that Duo didn't introduce to him first, but Duo didn't recognize this name. He couldn't figure out whether it was a boy or girl either. Duo jumped slightly when the phone buzzed then made a small chime sound indicating that Heero had a new text message. Duo was never the one to go rummaging through Heero's phone, but he when he read that the message was from Zechs, he couldn't help himself. He was curious beyond belief and he had to know who this person was. Duo entered Heero's pass code and unlocked the phone, eager to read the message.

_Heero. Please stop avoiding me. Let's talk. I know I startled you a couple of days ago. That wasn't my intention. We can certainly go slower if you like or just remain friends. Please call me back._

Duo stared at the message for a couple more seconds, drawing several conclusions at the same time. First, Heero knew and was meeting someone who Duo did not know. Someone that he hadn't even mentioned knowing or meeting in the first place. Heero and "Zechs" had even met a couple days ago. Duo had definitely seen Heero often during the past few days, giving Heero ample opportunity to tell him that he had made a new acquaintance. It wasn't as if Heero needed to report to Duo his schedule and whom he would be meeting, it was just that Heero _never_ met with anyone other than Duo. Such uncharacteristic behavior put Duo on edge and he couldn't shake the unsettling feeling that there was something deeper in the fact that Heero hadn't told Duo anything.

Second, "Zechs" and Heero had had some type of argument that had made Heero upset. Duo couldn't possibly imagine what could have happened with this other person to make Heero so upset. He was certain that there were few things that would make Heero upset, even "startled". Heero usually remained very calm and collected during high intensity moments, never allowing others to see when he becomes flustered. It was a bit of a pride issue for Heero more than anything else. Duo had seen Heero angry or upset before, but never startled. This reaction also gave Duo paused.

Finally, the suggestion that Heero and "Zechs" take it slower or remain friends was the one thing that was truly bothering Duo. He couldn't come to any situation that necessitated such words other than a sexual relationship. Duo racked his mind for a different scenario that would call for words, pleading and came up with nothing. There was no possibility that Heero was seeing someone. There was no way. Duo would know. He would certainly know. Heero didn't date, right? Duo was convinced that Heero was an a-sexual being who only lived off oxygen and food, no other sources, especially emotions needed to exist in order for him to live. This was a more comforting, less intimidating image of Heero.

"_Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't find me attractive. Look me in the heart and promise you won't go…"_ Heero's ringtone sounded. Duo glanced down at the ID apprehensively. _Zechs_. Duo tightly clutched the phone. He glanced at the door to ensure that Heero wasn't about to return to the room. He took a deep breath and answered the phone. There was silence on the other end and Duo didn't dare speak.

"Heero?" The smooth, _masculine_ voice sounded on the other end. Duo had to stop himself from gasping as he bit firmly on his bottom lip. _So Zechs is a man?_ Duo concluded. Heero was in some type of relationship with a man, a man other than Duo. He couldn't help or understand the sense of betrayal he felt as he made this realization. He knew that he had no right to feel this way or to hope that it was not so, but he could not stop himself. He wanted to curse at Zechs and at the same time get all the information about their relationship as well. Duo decided to remain silent, knowing that if he yelled at Zechs, it would only anger Heero.

"Heero? Are you there?" Zechs asked again. Duo gave a deep grunt, hoping that with years of friendship he was able to properly imitate Heero's most common response. Zechs seemed to believe it as he continued to speak. "I suppose you're angry from the other night? I understand. I startled you. We've only just met and it was obvious that you are a cautious person. I understood this, yet I still tried to kiss you. I'm sorry that I startled you so much. I would very much like to meet again like we did before, no expectations at all, simply having a good conversation. How would you feel about that?"

Duo was silent. He needed time process what he had just heard. Heero was in a relationship with someone else? Duo barely paused to consider the fact that it was a man, but merely dwelled on the revelation that Heero was in a relationship with _anyone_ and that other person had attempted to _kiss_ Heero. Duo's mind raced rapidly as he tried to remember when Heero was out a couple of nights ago and whom he could have been with. Duo couldn't recall Heero mentioning he had any special plans, but that he was simply going to the studio to finish his sculpture. Had Heero lied? How long had he been dating _Zechs_? Why hadn't he told Duo? Why wasn't it Duo?

"Heero?" Zechs asked once Duo didn't respond.

Without thinking, Duo spoke. "This isn't Heero," he said, voice coming out slightly more shaky than he had expected or wanted.

"Who is this then?" Zechs questioned.

Duo wasn't sure why he had answered or what he was trying to accomplish.

"This is Duo," he said simply.


	4. Tell Me Lies

**A/N: Sorry for the extreme delay! I really appreciate the support from everyone! Work has been crazy so I'm a little behind. There is so much angst that it's making me a want to crawl into a dark corner. This is starting to be one of those "I love him but can't tell him"/ "I love him but he has no idea" stories… buuuut that always makes final revelations more exciting, ne? ^^**

**Chapter 4: Tell Me Lies**

"Heero?" Zechs asked once Duo didn't respond.

Without thinking, Duo spoke. "This isn't Heero," he said, voice coming out slightly more shaky than he had expected or wanted.

"Who is this then?" Zechs questioned.

Duo wasn't sure why he had answered or what he was trying to accomplish. "This is Duo," he said simply.

Zechs was silent on the other end then finally spoke, "Why are you answering Heero's phone?"

"Heero is indisposed at the moment."

"Pardon?"

Duo gained more courage. "Look _Zechs_, Heero told me all about you and your predatory attempts to seduce him. It's obvious why he hasn't called you back. There's no need for it. Besides, I'm keeping Heero entertained enough that he doesn't have to think about you." Duo grimaced at his lie. He honestly hated blatant lying, but he couldn't prevent the sense of betrayal, hurt, and childishness that stemmed from his new discovery.

"Are you…are you two together?" Zechs stumbled.

Duo smirked, happy to have finally thrown off the obviously intelligent and well-spoken man. "We're going on four years now." _Of friendship, that is_, Duo amended in his mind.

"Heero never mentioned that he was dating anyone. Let me speak to him." There was a hint of doubt in the other man's voice that made Duo panic.

"Look, Heero's a little exhausted right now. He's like a puppy, you know, full of energy but when he exerts himself, he gets really tired after and I require a lot of service," Duo taunted, immediately regretting the words once they left his mouth.

"There's no need to speak of Heero in such a vulgar manner," Zechs reprimanded angrily.

"There's nothing vulgar about it. I understand the needs of my man, that's all." Duo replied sternly.

"I see. Du- Duo? Duo, I do not wish to cause the two of you any problems, but I would like to hear this from Heero himself. Please ask him to give me a call when he…is available."

"You sure are persistent," Duo sighed, "Fine. I'll give him the message. Anything else?"

"I…no. No, there's nothing else. Please make sure to-" Duo hung up the phone before the other man could finish his sentence. Duo clutched the phone tightly until his knuckles turning white. He looked at the phone again. He searched through Heero's recent calls list. Half of the calls were from Duo, the other half were from Zechs. Duo forgot shame and privacy as he desperately searched for the first appearance of Zechs' name. Duo sighed in relief when he saw that he first call occurred on Monday, with about three calls a day following. At least he knew that Heero hadn't been seeing Zechs for very long. Duo then looked through Heero's text messages. Once again, a majority of the messages were from Duo but about ten were from Zechs, including the one he had just sent.

"_Heero, Let's talk."_

"_Heero, I hope you're alright_."

"_Heero, I know my actions may seem a little excessive, but I really want to see you."_

"_Let's meet up at the Dirty Truth again_."

Duo nodded at this last message, understanding that this was the location of their first date, most likely on Monday. Duo became aggravated at the tone of desperation in the messages. It was obvious that Zechs had developed strong feelings for Heero in such a short amount of time. What did Heero think though? Duo quickly went into Heero's "sent messages" folder and smirked when he found that Heero hadn't sent Zechs a single text in reply.

Duo slightly jumped as he heard the Trowa talking down the hall, signaling that he and Heero had arrived from the store. Duo scrambled to delete the last text that Zechs had sent as well as the record of his last call. Duo knew that his actions were beyond conniving and dishonest, but he also knew that he wasn't going to allow another man to get close to Heero. He tossed the phone back under the pillows and resumed his previous position in front of his laptop.

Trowa and Heero entered the room quietly, with only the sound of Trowa's soft voice and the rustling of their convenience store bags to announce their arrival. Heero had his lips drawn in a tight line, his eyes hard and cautious. It was an expression that was more severe than his usual scowl. He brought those eyes to Duo who glanced at Heero that moment. Duo sat trapped in Heero's eyes, partially from their beauty and intensity, partially from his own guilt. Duo's eyes grew large and darted away quickly finding the rather bland pillow next to him suddenly interesting. Heero cocked his head to the side. "Duo, what's-"

He wasn't able to finish his question due to Trowa's clumsiness with the bags. He had accidently dropped the bag containing the beverages. Trowa released a small curse as he stooped to pick them up. Duo slowly rose and took the bags from Trowa's hands, spilling the contents on the floor again. Duo had quickly recovered from his previous shock and placed his feigned happy-go-lucky mask as he sorted through the food that Heero and Trowa had brought back.

Heero looked around the room, not paying attention to Duo's lamentations about their food choices, obviously looking for something. "Duo, have you seen my phone at all?" He asked.

Duo froze, eyes growing larger, pulse beating slightly faster. He swallowed hard, using the snacks as an excuse not to look directly at Heero. "Um, nope. Maybe check around the floor where we've been playing?" He suggested, hoping that his voice didn't betray the amount of panic he was feeling.

Heero grunted in response. He got onto the floor and started to search around the large piles of discarded chip bags, candy wrappers, and drink cans. He sighed when he didn't find his phone there. Duo watched Heero with a cautious eye as the boy crawled closer and closer to the pile of pillows. Heero reached the pillows and rifled through them. He found his phone and quickly looked at, checking missed calls and text messages. His face displayed an array of emotions, none of them easy to decipher. His lips drew into a tight line and he eyebrows knitted.

"You expecting a call?" Duo asked thickly, dreading the answer.

"Maybe. I suppose. I…no, I'm not." Heero struggled with what he was trying to say, obviously trying to debate what he actually wanted.

"Oh. Who?" Duo dared.

"No one." Heero responded firmly, ending the conversation.

Duo sighed and studied the same bag of Doritos he had been holding in his hands since Heero and Trowa had come back. Heero was expecting Zechs to call. Had he actually looked disappointed when he saw that there was no missed call from the other man? Duo refused to think about it.

The rest of the night, Duo didn't leave Trowa alone. He relentlessly made fun of the other man and flirted with him to no end. Duo knew that even for him, his actions were too much. Trowa took the attention well and didn't seem overly bothered by them. In fact, Trowa seemed to enjoy the attention. Duo was certain that the other man was flirting back and sending Duo obvious signs. It honestly didn't matter either way to Duo, he simply needed an outlet for his frustrations. And if he were to be honest with himself, a small part of him also wanted to make Heero jealous. It was obvious that Heero wouldn't care about Duo's relationships, as he had his own to worry about, but Duo wanted to prove that he wasn't alone and that others wanted to be with him, even if Heero did not.

It was this last thought that had Duo so upset. Now Duo knew that Heero was interested in men. He wasn't sure how long Heero had had these feelings, but they were obviously there. He hadn't told Duo at all. He still pretended to be straight. Why? Duo couldn't understand why Heero refused to trust him with such an important aspect of his life when the two share almost everything about each other. More importantly, Heero was interested in men, yet had not made a move to express his interest in Duo. This is what hurt him the most. Duo had been telling himself for years that the only reason he wasn't with Heero was because the other man wasn't gay. Now, Duo had learned that Heero at least found men attractive, making Duo's previous excuse completely illegitimate. Duo would have to understand and accept that Heero didn't want him that way. Duo clenched his teeth.

"Duo, wake up. You caused us to die." Heero's reprimand brought Duo back from his thoughts.

"Sorry," he mumbled without looking at Heero. He pretended to concentrate on the game in front of him, but in reality, he was having a difficult time focusing. He didn't spare a single look at Heero the rest of the night, his embarrassment and hurt preventing him from gaining the courage to do otherwise.

Heero, shuffled the hash browns on his plate for the about the tenth time that morning. He was wondering why he was still in the dining hall at 8 a.m. by himself. He always had a standing breakfast date with Duo the Friday following their ritualistic Thursday gatherings. This was the second week in a row that Duo had canceled. Heero recalled their conversation last Friday and Duo's excuse for cancelling. Duo had only called a couple minutes before their date time. His voice had sounded stifled and unclear. Duo clearly sounded upset about something.

"Is everything alright, Duo?" Heero had asked, knowing that Duo hadn't been acting normal since he and Trowa had come back from the convenience store the night before. Heero had felt that there was something wrong, but he didn't feel like it was appropriate to ask in front of Trowa. Instead, he had wanted to use this time to ask Duo.

"Yea, Heero. I just…I just really need to think about some things is all." Duo had replied rather weakly.

"Think about what things? What's going on?" Heero wondered.

Duo was silent for a while and finally spoke. "It's just that, I did something wrong and I need to think about why I did it. I need to find a way to justify it to myself."

"Ok, well, why don't you just tell me then? We'll talk through it like we have before." Heero suggested, already knowing the answer to his suggestion.

"No…I…that's alright. I think it's something I need to do by myself," Duo replied in a small voice.

"Duo, did something happen last night?"

"What?" Duo asked too quickly.

"It's just that you were acting a little strange after Trowa and I came back. Did something happen?"

Duo sighed heavily over the phone. "No, nothing happened. Look Hee-chan, I'm really tired. I didn't get much sleep after we knocked off last night, so I'm going back to bed."

"Class?" Heero asked.

Duo gave a snort. "Nope. You can't even lecture me. You've missed your Sociology class for the past two months."

"Hn," Heero said in agreement, knowing that he really had no defense.

"I'll call you later." And with that, Duo had hung up the phone.

Heero looked down at his hash browns again and sighed. A week had passed and Heero still hadn't been able to figure out what was bothering Duo. He simply knew that there was a problem that Duo refused to share with him. Duo had called and canceled again this morning, leaving Heero alone. This time, there was no excuse, simply an "I'm busy" to appease Heero's curiosity. What the hell was going on with Duo?

Heero rifled through his bag and extracted his planner to check his schedule for the day. As he skips several classes a week he always has to make sure to check the syllabi to ensure that he didn't miss any exams. He glanced at his Sociology 450 class syllabus. _Professor Marcus Gardley_, Heero read. He shrugged his shoulders. He had been to the class only once and couldn't even remember the man's face. He glance down at today's date and let out a soft curse. Today, he had a midterm. Heero sighed. He hadn't studied for it and would be far too busy with sculpture to cram for it ahead of time. He stuffed the paper back into his bag. He decided he was just going to wing it. He had a propensity for sociology anyway. It wouldn't be such a difficult task to use deductive reasoning to figure out the answers. Heero shoved two hash browns in his mouth, forcing himself to eat something. He drank his juice in one shot and deposited his tray on the proper compartment near the exit.

Heero's day proceeded as normal, with him spending immense time in the studio arts building. His main sculpture that he had been working on since the beginning of the semester was slowly turning out the way he wanted. He couldn't deny the inspiration of the sculpture as he molded the clay into the beautiful silhouette of his image of Shinigami. Heero always felt a small smile form on his lips whenever he thought about Duo's random and somewhat unfounded proclamation of being the god of death. There was no real foundation for it, but it was a character the other man had created long ago when he was smaller to help gain courage against bullies.

"Honestly, Hee-chan, who would fuck with the god of death? I'd think this to myself, and then suddenly I wasn't scared of those jerks who tried to terrorize me everyday," Duo had explained. Heero understood very well. Every person had his own self-defense mechanisms and self-preservation techniques that allowed them to survive and thrive in society. Although a little juvenile, it wasn't anything bizarre. Later, Duo had asked Heero what such a being would be called in Japanese. Heero had responded promptly with a smirk. _Shinigami_, he had answered. From that time on, Duo started calling himself Shinigami, now more as a joke than anything else. Heero had always found the idea of shinigami very interesting and when Duo had adapted the name, he became even more enthralled by the image. He decided that for his senior thesis, he would make his sculpture in the image of Shinigami with the characteristics of Duo. It was something that he happily let take a lot of his time, something that he hoped to show Duo soon. He could only hope that the other man would understand where the inspiration had come from and why Heero had done it.

At that moment, Heero's phone buzzed loudly in his pocket. He sighed, hoping that it wasn't Zechs, but at the same time secretly hoping that it _was_ him. He looked at the phone, _Duo_. Heero sighed in slight relief.

"Duo," Heero answered the phone.

"Hey, Heero! What's up?" Duo sounded a little better than earlier. His voice had its usual perkiness to it, but Heero could tell that there was still something not completely right about it.

"I'm leaving sculpture right now. I'm heading to class."

"At this time? You never go to class at this time!" Duo gaffed.

Heero sniggered slightly. "This is true, but I have a midterm today in that class. I have to go this time."

"Ok, that's cool. Wanna have lunch after?" Heero grunted in agreement. "Awesome. What building is it in?"

"Herter, room 12."

"Sweet. It'll take you, what, 20 min to finish your midterm?"

"Probably."

"Kk, I'll stop by then and we can go to lunch after."

"Alright," Heero replied and hung up the phone. He walked to the building in no hurry, knowing that he needed little to no preparation time to be ready for the exam. All he needed was to find the room and a comfortable seat in the lecture hall. When Heero entered the room, he settled for a seat in the back of the room. He scanned over the 300 person capacity room as he made his way to his seat. He paused and felt his blood run cold as his eyes settled on the proctor of the exam. He was sitting on the elevated platform, a small table with several box tops meant for completed exams was positioned in front of him. He looked capable as he instructed a small group of three students about how to administer the exam. The man gave a small smile and then a nod, handing the tests over to the TAs. He looked up and scanned the classroom, eyes coming to a startling stop once they landed on Heero, making eye contact. Heero felt himself flush as he realized that Zechs was the professor of this class. Heero felt his throat tighten as the irony of the situation hit him. He quickly thought back to when Zechs had ever told him that he was a professor. Zechs had never mentioned it, and Heero had just assumed that the other man was a graduate student because of his older age. It wasn't terribly uncommon for graduate students to mingle with undergraduates. Heero had thought nothing of it. As he looked at Zechs, unable to tear his eyes from the other man, he felt a wave of embarrassment and shame wash over him. Zechs wasn't looking at him with the contemptuous gaze that Heero had assumed he would in response to ignoring him for two weeks. He simply looked intrigued and questioning. Zechs rose as though he were about to approach Heero. One of the TAs suddenly handed Heero an exam and asked him to sit, interrupting his brief reunion with Zechs. Heero spared one more look at Zechs, ducked his head and sat.

The test began, but Heero was finding that he was having a hard time concentrating on the exam. He continuously felt Zechs' eyes on him during the duration of the exam, making him more self-conscious and aware of their awkward relationship. Heero spared a look at Zechs again. The man was looking down at the moment, an extremely contemplative look on his face. He looked nice and professional. He wore a crisp white dress shirt, tucked into a pair of fitting black dress pants. His shoes were polished to the point of shinning. He had one leg delicately crossed over the other with folded hands resting on his knee. His long hair was pulled into a tight ponytail to flow down his back. He honestly looked as stunning as he had when Heero first met him.

Because of these distractions, it took Heero ten more minutes than expected to finish the exam, a time that was still quicker than most of the students in the class. He hurriedly packed his bag, grabbed his exam and rushed to the front of the lecture hall. He quickly deposited his exam in one of the box tops without even glancing at Zechs. He abruptly turned and all but ran from the hall. He rushed out to find Duo waiting for him, leaning against one of the many pillars outside the room. He stood up straight when Heero came, a wide smile coming onto his lips. Heero grimaced in return. He was delighted to see Duo, but honestly wanted to get them both out of the building before-

"Heero!" Heero paused at the sound of his name. He recognized the voice, he knew immediately who it was. Momentarily shaken, he continued to walk towards Duo, giving the man a warning look to not ask any questions.

"Heero!" Zechs continued. He could hear the sound of the other man's dress shoes picking up pace as he rushed towards Heero. Duo looked from Heero to the approaching man, eyes wide with curiosity. Heero reached Duo before Zechs could get to him. He grabbed Duo's arm and ushered Duo toward the door.

"Come," was all he said, spinning Duo around.

"Heero, stop!" Zechs' voice was deep with emotion and frustration. Enough so that Heero felt that he had to abide by the other man's request and stop. He turned around slowly. Zechs had caught up with him, face slightly flushed from the small amount of exertion.

"Heero," was all Zechs could manage to say.

"Since when have you been the professor of this class?" Heero questioned, attempting to avoid the real reason that Zechs had stopped him from leaving.

"Professor Gardley had to take medical leave. I took his place about a month ago. I didn't realize you were in this class."

"This is my first time being in class in months," Heero explained.

"Ah, I see. Well, I suppose this class is just a little below your skill level," Zechs reasoned.

"If I had known you were the professor in this class…I wouldn't have…" Heero didn't continue. He instead ran his hand through his hair, at a loss for words.

"You wouldn't have humored me last week? In that case, I'm glad you didn't know," Zechs replied honestly.

"Look, you should probably get back to proctoring the exam. My friend and I were heading for lunch anyway-"

Zechs cut him off. "That's what I have TAs for. Now that we've met under such circumstances, let's take the time to talk." Heero opened his mouth to deny the request, but before he could say anything, Zechs turned to Duo. "Excuse me, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Zechs Marquise. Would you mind terribly if I imposed on your lunch and took Heero away from you?" Zechs gave a charming smile.

Heero glanced at Duo, ready hear a witty response from him explaining exactly what he thought of Zechs' request. Heero was surprised to see Duo's face alight with shock and a little fear. His eyes had grown larger than normal and he had turned a slight shade paler. He swallowed heavily, refusing to make eye contact with either Heero or Zechs. Heero cocked his head to the side, curious about Duo's response.

"Duo, are you ok?" Heero asked. Duo turned those wide eyes to Heero, slightly more panicked than before. He then looked at Zechs desperately. Heero turned to look at Zechs as well. The other man look slightly startled as well, mouth drawing into a tight line, then immediately relaxing. He stared at Duo with such intensity that Heero was certain something was wrong.

"Do you two know each other?" Heero asked, looking between the two. Duo stood gaping slightly, clearly unsure what to say.

Zechs recovered first, giving a slight nod. "Yes, we've met before. I think I was temporarily his professor for a time. I had to reprimand him for speaking out of turn and misrepresenting himself." Zechs informed steely.

"Misrepresenting himself?" Heero questioned, looking at Duo. The other man showed no emotions, but maintained a look a shock.

"Yes. You see it was an advance class. We had to deal with a delicate and beautiful subject matter. I suppose Duo wanted to prove that he was capable of dealing with such a being and feigned experience. It turns out that he was under qualified. Usually, I don't care too much about experience, this is what college is for: to help you gain experience. But this particular subject matter was too precious and delicate to allow just anyone to handle it. I unfortunately had to dismiss Duo and handle the matter myself." Duo bit his lip slightly, eyes growing hard.

"This sounds like some type of science class. Why were you taking that, Duo? You're an engineer major." Heero tried to understand.

"I think it was just to fulfill a university requirement, correct, Duo?" Zechs replied smoothly. Duo nodded his head. Heero looked between the two, more confused than before. Duo looked like he was about punch Zechs. His hands were clutched into tight fists and Heero could faintly see that the other man was trembling slightly.

"I'm sure it was a misunderstanding. Duo's an honest person. He probably thought he could handle work. I'm sure he could have, if given the opportunity." Heero came to Duo's defense when he realized that the other man wasn't going to say anything.

"Perhaps," Zechs agreed. "It's very kind of you to defend your friend like that Heero."

"Hn," was all that Heero said in response.

"Heero," Duo suddenly said, speaking for the first time since their encounter. Heero turned. "You…you go ahead and have lunch with the professor. I just remembered that I needed to take care of some things over at the…place," Duo finished lamely. He cleared his throat.

"Duo, it's okay. I have no intention to-"

"No, it's alright Heero. It's got nothing to do with this. I really need to go and do that thing anyway." With that, he gave a small wave and headed towards the door. Heero watched him go, partially out of concern, partially because he wanted a buffer between him and Zechs. Heero sighed and turned to look at Zechs, knowing that he no longer had an excuse to avoid the other man. Heero's gaze was heavy and guarded.

"Heero, could you possibly allot me ten minutes later tonight?" Asked a final time.

Heero sighed, knowing that he had virtually no choice and needed to show Zechs at least the courtesy of hearing him out. He slowly nodded his head. "But I need to be in the studio tonight."

"On a Friday night?" Zechs questioned, but saw Heero's expression and decided to leave the manner alone. "I'll come by around, eight? I'll bring you something to eat."

Heero nodded. "Alright. I'll see you then," with that Heero turned and left, willing his legs to stop shaking from beneath him. Once Heero approached the door, he stopped and took one more glance at Zechs. The man had his head lowered, as if in thought. A small smile crept onto Zechs' lips before he turned to go back into the lecture hall.

On his way to the studio, Heero bumped into Quatre, who he hadn't seen since the party a couple weeks ago. Heero tried to subtly avoid eye contact with him so that he could continue with his day without interruption, but Quatre's eye were too keen and were quick to find Heero from the small crowd.

"Heero!" he called loudly and rushed to Heero's side without first finding any sense of approval from Heero.

"Quatre," Heero nodded pausing on the sidewalk to talk to the other man. Although he wasn't a very sociable person, Heero seemed to always find time to speak wit h Quatre whenever the other man called him. Perhaps it was his kind nature and ability to put others at ease that Heero found approachable. Besides, Quatre had been so genuinely nice to Heero over the past several years that Heero would actually feel guilty treating him any other way.

"How have you been since the other night? Are you and Duo alright?"

"We're fine. I'm sure you know us by now. We made up the next day. We can't seem to help it any other way."

Quatre nodded his head in agreement. "It always seems to go that way, huh? I'm not sure why I'm always so worried about you two. But with Trowa coming into the picture, it has to odd to have someone else in the mix."

Heero shook his head lightly. "We've hung out together once and it wasn't terribly odd."

"Yea, but now he'll be with you guys all the time. You guys are going to have to re-adjust the way you operate."

Heero cocked his head to the side slightly. "Why would he be with us all the time now? It was fine when we were all together last week, but I don't think that it's anything that serious."

"Uh…well, I just figured since he and Duo are dating now that you three would be together a lot more. I didn't mean to assume anything."

"What? What do you mean he and Duo are _dating?_ Dating? Since when?"

Quatre swallowed hard and looked slightly uncomfortable. "I figured since you two are so close that you would know already. I don't know, maybe since last week. Weren't you all together the night that they hooked up?" He added smally.

Heero paid Quatre's awkwardness no mind. His attention was entirely too focused on dissecting the information that Quatre had just told. Surely Heero would have known if Duo were dating someone. Not only would Duo have said something, but Heero would have noticed changes in Duo's behavior and routine. There had been nothing out of the ordinary with Duo's routine that would suggest that he was meeting anybody. Heero paused and realized that Duo had been acting a little strange and his frequent cancelations of their breakfast dates was evidence to that fact. Heero couldn't prevent the feeling of betray and disappointment at the news. Heero knew that he had told Trowa to pursue something with Duo and that Duo had been wanting for something like this to happen, but Heero still couldn't shake the miserable feelings that he was having.

"Is everything cool, Heero?" Quatre asked smally.

Heero nodded his head, attempting to save face. "Certainly. I just wasn't aware that things had progressed so seriously, I suppose. I need to be going, Quatre, but I'll see you later." With that, Heero turned and left. He had originally planned to go straight to the studio to clear his mind, but he couldn't get rid of the nagging in the back of his mind that told him he had to see Duo. He needed to figure what was really happening.

After an accelerated twenty-minute walk, Heero found himself at Duo's door. Heero could hear the soft sounds of some undistinguishable music floating from Duo's room as he approached. Duo's light humming could lightly be heard over the music. Heero surmised that Duo was probably working on one of his complicated mechanical engineering projects. While Duo rarely went to class, he always put in an outstanding amount of hard work into his projects, always resulting in phenomenal outcomes. He knocked on the door out of courtesy, more than necessity, as he was never sure whether or not Duo's roommate had randomly decided to move back in.

"Yea!" Duo shouted over the music. Heero opened the door and peered in, his assumptions proven to be correct. Duo was spread out on the floor, with various tools, books, and other complicated looking instruments that Heero lacked the knowledge to identify. He wore a black tank top and a pair of skinny-legged jeans. He wore socks decorated with his favorite anime character, Doraemon. His hair was tightly tied in the braid and pinned to the top of his head. A few strands fell into his face, shading his eyes. It was a simple outfit, but Duo looked stunning nonetheless. It was an outfit befitting a person like Duo, beautiful, serious, but with just enough whimsy and imagination to make people gravitate toward him. He looked like he was concentrating, with his face screwed into a peculiar expression, tongue jutting out slightly. He was obviously trying to finish the problem he was working on before he focusing on his guest and potentially losing his train of thought. Heero understood and closed the door softly behind him. He sat down on the futon that was facing Duo and watched him as he finished his work. After about a minute, Duo dramatically dropped his pencil and stretched. He yawned loudly, eyes becoming small slits as he did so.

"I knew it was you, Hee-chan, as soon as you walked through the door." He said, eyes still closed.

Heero grunted. "How is that?" Heero asked.

Duo opened his eyes and looked into Heero's. "I felt you, of course," he said in all seriousness. Heero couldn't take his eyes aways from Duo as the other man continued to stare at him with utmost earnesty and gravity. Heero felt his heart beat a little faster as his mind tried to dissect Duo's words while simotaneouly trying to figure out what to say next. Fortunately, as expected, Duo spoke before Heero's confusion could persist. "So, I thought you're suppose to be at the studio around this time. God, Heero, you're really starting to slack off. Am I rubbing off of you?" Duo returned to the goofy smile that Heero knew, unstood, and felt comfortable with.

"I was before I ran into to Quatre." Heero began.

"Oh, yea?" Duo said as he started to clean his tools from the floor and placing them in their carrying case.

"He told me," Heero began again, but decided that a direct approach would be better for dealing with the situation. It would get things out in the open fast and honestly. "Are you seeing Trowa, Duo?"

Duo paused, slowly putting the compass he was holding into the case. He slowly zipped it and placed in on the small table next to him. He turned toward Heero, expression no longer holding that jovial smile. "Where did you hear that?" He asked.

"Does it matter, Duo?" Heero asked softly, realizing that the conversation wasn't going to end positively.

"Yea, it does."

"Why?"

"I just want to know who spreading my business everywhere. Quatre?"

"Look, he starting talking to me about it because he assumed I would already know. Why didn't I know? Why didn't you tell me?"

Duo pounted slightly, "why do you have to know? You don't need to know everything I do."

"I know, but…I just think…Isn't this something important?"

Duo shrugged his shoulders, "I guess to some people it is."

Heero sighed. "So, is it true?"

"Yea, sure. We hooked up last Thursday after you left and we've been hanging out since then. What's the big deal? Shit," he ended crudely.

"You've been with this guy for a week and didn't say anything to me," Heero stated, his voice as monotone and lifeless as ever. Duo slightly twitched under the sudden change of tone.

"Yea. Sounds about right."

"Why couldn't you tell me?"

"Why are you acting like a wounded puppy? Shit, Heero. If I want to meet someone other than you, if I want to fuck somebody, do I need your permission to do so?"Duo's crudeness was assentuated by the increasing volume of his voice. He shifted slightly, sitting crossed legged on the floor in front of Heero.

"Is that what you did, Duo?" Heero asked stonily. "Did you _fuck_ him?" His voice dangerous, hurt, confused. There was a rampant of emotions running through him that he couldn't seem to get any control over. Instead, they were taking over his voice and saying things on their own accord.

"Why the hell do you think I had to cancel on you the following morning? Because I wanted to go fucking milk a cow instead? I was too busy for you that morning."

"So that's how it was?" Heero asked quietly.

"Yea, that's how it was." Duo answered stiffly.

Heero sighed. "Why did you hide this from me?" Heero asked again.

"Why are you so concerned with my sex life, Heero? Hmm? Is it cause you'd rather be fucking me instead?"

"Eh?" Heero asked, his eyes growing wider from the shock and truth of the words. His heart started beating rapidly, his chest growing tighter in response to Duo's accusation. He could feel his breathe shortening and he was certain his face was becoming flushed.

Duo chuckled to himself. "Heero stop being so fucking pathetic. You're always worrying about me and who I'm with. Why? Because you're fucking bored. Because you have no life. You really need to go out and get someone. You're my best friend, but damn, there are some things we don't have to share. I'm tired of having you follow me around all the damn time. It gets old. Do something for yourself for once. Find someone to occupy your time instead of me. Just let go for once."

Heero was stilled by these words; they were hurtful and spoke of Heero's fears. He knew that many of Duo's words were true. He knew that he life was fully encompassed by Duo. That the only one he ever met or had any desire to meet was Duo. He did, in fact, follow Duo around wherever he went, often putting Heero in uncomfortable situations. Heero also knew it was pathetic to pine for someone who you could never obtain. Heero put himself through a kind of tortue on a daily basis, spending all his waking time with Duo. The other man was right. He should be doing things for himself, living for himself, doing things that make him happy. Although he knew it to be true, Heero couldn't prevent the next words from spilling from his lips.

"Pathetic?" Heero questioned slightly. "What's pathetic is basing your worth based on how many guys you can sleep with. That's truly pathetic. Being a good friend and showing concern for him isn't what I call pathetic. Keeping something like that from me really shows how much you value me. It's good that we had this conversation. It puts everything into perspective." Heero stood to leave. He gave a small incline of his head in Duo's direction. Duo stood frozen, hands tightly coiling into solid fists. Heero was half way to the door when Duo shouted after him.

"Yes, Saint Heero the Prude strikes again! Telling me what a horrible friend and person I am, as always. I was starting to feel disappointed that our conversation didn't take a turn to that direction!" Heero willed himself to continue walking. Duo wouldn't stop, it seemed that he was grasping at ways to continue provoking Heero. "What," he continued, "you can have a secret boyfriend and I can't?" Duo stood slowly, fists still clenched.

Heero paused half way to the door. "What?" he asked, back still at Duo.

"God, Zehcs, Heero. I know you've been seeing him for a couple of weeks now. Pretending to be all fucking coy today. Do you think that's fucking cute or something? It's really not. I thought I was going to puke today from the pretentiousness of it all."

"_What_?" Heero turned slightly.

"Yea, Heero. I know about you and Zechs. I know you guys have been doing god knows what. You want to sit here and lecture me about worth and friendship when you did the same goddamn thing first. And you didn't even think to tell me about it."

"That's because there's nothing to tell, Duo. We're not seeing each other. We just… he just approached me and…"

"And what happened?" Duo demanded.

"Nothing. He wanted to but I…Look, there's no need for me to talk to you about this. Nothing happened between us, so there was nothing to say. Why are you turning this on me?"

"Because this is more important. "

"How? How could this be more important than the things you've just said?"

"Heero. Are you gay?" Heero froze at the question. His mind was rapidly going through a series of possible responses and consequences. Nothing he thought of held the result that he wanted. He decided to play dumb; a move that he knew had no chance of success.

"What?" He asked stupidly.

"Heero, are you attracted to men? Do you want to fuck or be fucked by men or both? It's a simple question."

Heero swallowed heavily. "Things like aren't that simple. It's more than that, Duo."

Duo's face turned hard. "What is it then, Heero?"

Heero looked down at the floor, suddenly finding the woven pattern of the carpet interesting. He was willing himself to stay calm, but realizing that he was slowly loosing that battle. "It's just something that I don't want to talk to you about," he finally said.

Duo stood. "Look, it's not that hard Heero. I just need to know."

"Why?"

Duo paused. Heero could see a mixture of emotions flick across Duo's face, all of them coming and going too quickly for Heero to assess them. "It would just make things easier if I knew either way."

"Like what?" Heero questioned.

"Does it fucking matter? Just tell me, do you like to fuck men?"

"As I said before, it's more than that. Not everyone is as shallow as you or as open."Heero regretted that he had said those words as he knew how they sounded, but at the same time he could not feel guilty for the truth that those words held. Duo was forever flaunting his sexuality to any who would spare him a glance. He didn't seem to have any sense of privacy or humility when it came to sexuality and its expression. It was one thing that Heero both admired and loathed about Duo. Such acts might act as a form of liberation for Duo, but in the eyes of others, he could easily appear low and permiscuous. In reponse to Heero's comments, Duo was slilent for a moment.

"Just because I know who I am," Duo started slowly, "and express that doesn't make me a whore and doesn't mean you can just say whatever the hell you like."

"I really don't want to have this discussion with you." Heero turned to leave again. Duo, however, who had been riled up found it impossible to stop the argument there. He blocked Heero's path as he tried to leave the room.

"Heero, you're gonna have to have it cause you brought it up. You think I'm a slut? Hmmm?" His voice was low, menacing.

"I never said that. I don't think that. Now, please, move." Heero turned to go around Duo, but Duo simply side stepped him and blocked his exit again. Heero let out a slight growl in frustration. "What do you want from me?" Heero gave up.

"I just want you to know that I'm not like that. I'm not a slut."

"I know."

Duo looked at Heero steadily. "Good. Stop getting involved in who I'm with and what I'm doing with them, k? It's none of your goddamn business."

Heero sighed and conceded. "Alright," was all Heero could manage to say. He wasn't sure what he had been hoping for by coming to Duo's dorm today, but he felt some relief knowing that he at least got an answer.

"_Alright_? That's all you have to say is _alright_?"

"What more do you want? I've asked multiple questions and you refuse to answer them. So, the only thing left to do is be all right with it. I don't want to continuously fight with you. It's exhausting and not worth it. So for now, I'm just going to leave you be. Just like you wanted."

Duo stared at Heero, his anger slowly melting into something that Heero couldn't quite indentify. "What do you mean by that?"

"You think I need to live my own life? Perhaps you're right. Let's only see each other once in a while, all right? Maybe that's for the best." Heero sighed and turned to leave for the third time. Duo didn't block his path and let him turn to leave. Before he could reach the door, however, Duo caught his elbow.

"Are you serious, Hee-chan?" Duo asked smally.

Heero didn't turn around. He simply nodded his head in response, shook his arm form Duo's grasps and left.

**Hope you enjoyed! Please R&R! Poor Zechs is still trying. Don't you know anything about this fandom, Zechs? Just give up…or give us lemon! **


	5. Faking it

**Long time no see everyone! Hope all is well! Sorry that it took me so long to upload this part. I sort of got a little stuck. I really appreciate all the feedback, especially those of you who are vehemently against any type of Zechs and Heero relationship. You faithful 1x2x1 passion made me smile! ^^**

**Chapter 5: Faking it**

Heero knew that he had acted rashly and that he would soon regret cutting intimate ties with Duo. He knew this, even as he was saying the words moments ago, but he couldn't help but acknowledge the truth behind the words that both he and Duo had spoken. Heero's dependency on Duo was always something that had irked Heero and was something that he had wanted to change. He thought it to be slightly unhealthy that his moods waiver according whether or not he was on good terms with Duo. He knew that he was happiest when Duo smiled upon him and most miserable when Duo was angry with him. It was as if Duo was in complete control of Heero's emotions and Heero didn't feel terribly comfortable with the idea. He couldn't, however, find a way to remove the deep emotional attachment that he felt towards Duo without severing connections completely.

It honestly wasn't something that he had wanted to do, but Duo's new relationship had been the final straw. It was apparent that Duo wasn't looking at Heero and had no regard for his emotions or feelings about the situation. He had hid his relationship from Heero, and then when discovered, he had repainted the situation so that Heero was the one in the wrong. There was obviously no room for Heero in Duo's personal life, something that Heero had long suspected and was humiliated to find out was true. Duo had made it clear that he was moving forward with his life and the incestuous relationship that he held with Heero was no longer acceptable or was no longer satisfying. Either way, Heero had been dismissed and discarded. Heero knew in the back of his mind that this had been happening for years. He knew that he had been holding onto Duo with some type of hope that his feelings would be returned, even after every time Duo went out with someone different, Heero had always clung to this hope. It was apparent that this was a useless and foolish hope. Once Heero had confirmed Duo's relationship with Trowa and after Duo's scathingly truthful words about Heero's need to obtain a life of his own, Heero had decided that it was indeed time for him to move on. Perhaps he would not be able to remove his feelings for Duo completely, but he could certainly take more steps that will allow him freedom, pleasure, and comfort while dealing with his feelings.

Heero cursed lightly under his breath as he cut himself with a sculpting tool for the second time that evening. He shook his head fiercely. This was definitely _not _a good or safe way to be sculpting. His mind was clearly elsewhere and had been since he left Duo's dorm. Heero put down his tool and brought his wounded finger to his mouth, willing the blood to stop. The pain was minimal, dull. He could barely feel it. He knew that in this state he was much more likely to injure himself. He gave his sculpture an apprehensive look. The scythe, armor, and basic shape had been completed. Heero needed to finish the helmet, hair and facial features of the sculpture before he could call it anything close to being complete. He didn't have any motivation to work on it at the moment. He knew the face would be the most difficult part for him, as he intended to model after Duo's likeness. He could barely bring himself to imagine his face in his head, let alone manifest and recreate it.

With all the anxiety, worry, and general sense of dread following his encounter with Duo, Heero had managed to take his mind off of his impending meeting with Zechs the entire day. He was able carry on without much worry about the other man. At this point, Heero was virtually fearless of the Zechs situation. He no longer felt any form of guilt about the attention he was receiving. He certainly still felt intimidated by what he was sure Zechs was suggesting and pursuing, but he had also decided once he left the Duo's dorm, that he would approach the Zehcs situation form a different perspective. Heero had hesitantly decided that he would use the Zechs situation as the first step to do something for himself. How Heero was going to build the confidence to allow this to happen, he had no idea, but he knew it was worth his efforts.

He started slightly when he heard the door to the studio slide open. He turned to see Zechs filling the doorframe both with his massive physical side and his overwhelming presence. His clothing wasn't much different than what he had worn earlier. He had only traded his dress pants for dark washed fitted jeans. He still looked stunning.

Zechs gave a small smile before coming into the room, firmly shutting the door behind him. He carried in his hands a small bag from the restaurant downtown called Fresh Side. "Good evening, Heero," he greeted easily. Heero looked at him with weary eyes and gave a nod in response. He absentmidedly wiped his hands on his pants and sat down at one of the worktables that Zechs had already placed the food. Zechs extracted two large containers and various kinds of dipping sauce.

"I hope you like Fresh Side?" Zechs questioned. Heero nodded in affirmation. "Good," Zechs continued, "I was hoping that you would. I figure this restaurant has to be a vegetarian's paradise? I have two options for you: Vietnamese noodles or Pad Thai with tofu."

"I'll have the Pad Thai," he took the container from Zechs. "Thanks," he said almost as an afterthought. "How much do I owe you?" Heero went to retrieve his wallet from his back pocket, only to realize that he had left his wallet in the locker room. He flushed slightly, "I don't have my wallet with me. When I leave, I'll get my money from the locker room."

"Please don't worry about it. My treat." Zechs settled down onto the high stool, propping his feet up on the bar. He drizzled the sauce over the Vietnamese noodles and proceeded to eat. Heero was a little slower to eat. He remained standing, simply staring at his dish. This situation was too bizarre for him. He didn't know what he should do, how he should act. Zechs was acting as if this dinner were a natural occurrence that needed no special context. Heero definitely didn't have the same perspective. He felt awkward and honestly wished that Zechs would bluntly state what he had come for instead of making Heero agonize over the conversation.

"Heero, come, sit. I'm sure you're hungry." Heero sighed and gave a curt nod before sitting down at the table. He poked and twirled the noodles around his fork several times, not once taking a bite.

Zechs cleared his throat. "I appreciate you allowing me to come tonight. I'm sorry if my appearance in Herter inconvenienced you in anyway."

Heero paused and thought about Duo and Trowa. Finally coming to the conclusion that perhaps Duo was right. Perhaps Heero needed to get his own life and stop living vicariously through Duo. It honestly was unhealthy and Heero was slowly realizing that he deserved more than that. It was honestly time that he started doing things for himself. Unfortunately, this meant a lot of courage on his part, and Heero wasn't quite sure if he had it in him to be that courageous.

"May I ask you something, Zechs?" Heero asked quietly, still playing with his noodles.

"Certainly," Zechs answered promptly.

"Why are you so insistent on seeing me? You don't know me at all."

Zechs looked at Heero with serious and heavy eyes. "But doesn't it always start out like this? You're never born knowing anybody. You have to start somewhere for relationships to be born, right?" Heero bit his lip slightly, eyebrows furrowed in thought and concentration. "I'm 28 Heero. While that's not old by any means, it's definitely old enough to allow me certain experiences and an opportunity to learn things about others and myself. I understand what I want. Since I've moved here, there hasn't been anyone who has enthralled me until I sat next to you on the bus. I may not know you Heero, but you gave off a certain air that told me everything that I needed to know. When I'm passionate about something, I don't stop until I've gone as far as I can with it."

Heero swallowed heavily, becoming more self-conscious. "I don't know what to say."

"Heero, what do you think about me? What do you feel when you think about me." Heero looked down at his noodles again. "Please, answer honestly."

"I become nervous and a little unsure. I don't like those feelings. I think, maybe, those feelings of discomfort are transferred onto you whenever I see you." Heero paused.

"I see. Besides the nervousness, which is quite normal and will ease in time, what else do you think about me? Do you find me attractive?" He asked bluntly.

Heero bit his lips slightly, pausing to give himself time to come up with something to say. He was determined to be truthful, to do something for himself. He honestly responded, "Yes," in a small voice.

Zech leaned back and put his fork down. "In what ways?" he asked without paused.

Heero hesitated. The situation was going fast than he felt comfortable with. He needed more time to think. "I don't feel comfortable answering that," he finally said, somewhat defeated by himself.

"Why not? Heero, we're both adults. We're both men. We can have these conversations." Zechs said simply.

"I just _don't _have these types of conversations. Ever."

Zechs smiled slightly. "Shall I tell you the ways I find you attractive, then?"

Heero continued to spin the noodles around his fork, making them incessantly tangled. "You really don't need to."

"I think I do, Heero. I don't think you hear enough about your worth."

"It's fine, really." Heero felt himself flush as he was becoming increasingly embarrassed by the entire situation. The absurdity of it all- a practical stranger insisting on complimenting and praising him- made Heero more uncomfortable.

"It's when you look like that, Heero. When I see your cheeks tint red and your eyes hold doubt and confusion. Your complete innocence, this expression is when you're most attractive," Zechs paused and stared pointedly at Heero, who was avoiding all eye contact. He sighed. "I want to always see you like that," he finished softly. Heero shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He put his fork down lightly, concluding that there was no way he would be able to actually eat his meal tonight.

"I…" Heero started and then stopped. He didn't even attempt to make the sentence coherent. He had no intention to say anything, he simply felt obligated to make some response or sound either way. He jumped slightly when his phone rang. He hurriedly retrieved it from his pocket, grateful for the interruption. He glanced at the phon. _Duo_, it read. Heero stared at the phone hard, a series of potential responses running through his head. He finally sighed and heavily placed the phone face down on the table.

Zechs raised an eyebrow slightly. "Who was that to make you so upset?" Zechs asked.

Heero glanced at him, eyes still hard in response to Duo's call. "Excuse me?" Heero asked, his voice coming off more harsh and offended than he actually felt.

Zechs had the social grace to look embarrassed of his infringement. "I apologize. I have no right to ask about your personal phone calls."

Heero shook his head slightly. "It's not that. It's…no it's fine. It's just my friend, Duo, who you met earlier."

"Ah," Zechs said and then paused. "Heero, may I ask you something about Duo?"

Heero was so caught off guard, that he found himself agreeing before thinking how dangerous the question could actually be. Once Zechs spoke, Heero knew that the question was indeed dangerous and would open a floodgate into topics that Heero did not want to revisit that night.

"Is Duo the reason why you're hesitating with me?" Zechs asked simply. His face was blank, trying to make Heero feel the least amount of pressure as possible.

Heero swallowed heavily. "Duo and I are friends," he responded simply, foolishly thinking that a non-answer would squelch Zechs' curiosity.

"Yes, but, I can definitely sense tension between the two of you. It has been making me wonder," he paused, "Or am I completely off track?"

"It doesn't really matter right now. Duo and I are taking some time apart." Heero replied, avoiding a direct answer once again, but also saying more than he had intended at the same time.

Zechs looked interested. "Why is that? My impression was that you two were very close friends."

"How would you get such an impression after one meeting?" Heero asked, not suspiciously, but simply intrigued by Zechs' observation skills.

Zechs paused once again and Heero could tell that he was thinking rapidly and taking care of his next response. "I'm sure it was something that Duo had said off-handily that made me think that." Heero simply nodded in response, offering nothing else to the conversation. They sat in silence, Zechs gazing intently at Heero while Heero became re-invested in the fine detail of his Pad Thai. Heero knew that he couldn't do this. No matter how much he convinced himself that he needed to take further steps with Zechs, he found it impossible to simply give himself to the other man. He couldn't prevent the lingering thoughts and feelings about Duo from framing and determining each of his words. The fact the Duo had such a hold on him, even after their terrible argument, was a true testament to the dark dependency that Heero was so worried about. Heero shook his head slightly, as if to clear his mind and thoughts. He would simply have to work harder. He would have to force himself to be to Zechs, allotting him a chance at life without Duo. Only then, perhaps, will he be able to continue living with only lingering thoughts of the other man.

"I'm not trying to be invasive, Heero, I simply want to understand the problem is so that we can work around it." Zechs interrupted Heero's train of thought who lifted his head almost violently to look at Zechs at the sound of his voice. He stared wildly into Zechs' eyes as the other man stared calmly into his. Heero looked away, knowing that Zechs' confident gaze would cause him to loose his nerves.

"There is no problem, Zechs. Duo isn't in the way of anything. I no longer have anything holding me back. I…I think that I want to give this…you a chance, Zechs." Heero forced himself to then glance up at Zechs. He was still looking calmly at Heero, eyes searching Heero's face, as if looking for some type of sign that what Heero had just said was a lie. He was silent and it seemed to be as if he were at a loss for words for the first time since they had met. After time passed and he realized that Heero wasn't about to redact his previous invitation, Zechs allowed a small, warm smile to spread across his lips.

"You've no idea how pleased I am to hear you say that," he beamed at Heero. Heero nodded his head quickly and shortly.

Zechs slowly stood from his chair, eyes never leaving Heero's he came around he table. Heero felt himself flush as Zechs was approaching. He could understand the look in Zechs' eyes as he approached, while not experienced, he knew well what was about to happen, much like how he knew in the car a couple of weeks ago. Heero balled his hands into a fist from pure nervousness. He couldn't look away. All smiles had left Zechs' face as a look of pure need clouded his eyes, weighing down his eyelids.

Heero turned to face Zechs on the stool. He looked up at the larger man, unsure of exactly what would proceed and what he should do about it. Zechs paused about a two feet in front of Heero, looking down gingerly at him. Although he wasn't so close, Heero could still feel the pressure of his larger than life presence wash over him. Zechs gracefully filled the remaining distance between them by sliding between Heero's legs in front of the stool. Heero felt heat spread from the parts of his legs that were touching Zechs' legs to the rest of his body. Heero attempted to slide further back on the stool in order to regain a more comfortable distance, but Zechs caught him by simply taking the crook of Heero's neck lightly in his right hand. He lightly traced circles across the sensitive and soft flesh behind Heero's left ear.

"No," Zechs said lightly, "you can't run away this time." Although gently said, Heero felt that the words were still binding and restraining. He had to remind himself that this was something he needed and also something that he slightly wanted. Heero gave a slight nod in agreement, both to reassure Zechs that he had no doubts and to the re-confirm to himself that he had the strength to continue.

Zechs slowly brought his free hand to brush one of Heero's ever so unruly strands of hair from his face. Heero felt himself go warm again as he Zechs' hand lightly brushed his cheek in the process. Zechs allowed his hand to stoke every part of Heero's face, from the shape of his almond shaped eyes to the curve of his jaw line. Heero felt his eyes close again at the familiar tender feeling of Zechs' skin upon his. He felt himself unconsciously move into Zechs' touch. He sighed slightly when the pad of Zechs' thumb caressed his lips again. He felt his lips part on their own accord, as if he they knew what to do more than Heero himself knew. Zechs experimentally dipped his thumb lightly between the slightly parted lips. Heero, who felt the intrusion, flicked his tongue out to taste Zechs almost instinctively. He heard, Zechs' sharp intake of breath in response, notifying Heero that he had done something right.

Zechs removed his hands suddenly, causing Heero some alarm. Had he actually done something wrong? Was Zechs' sigh a simple sign of disappointment? Heero began to ask Zechs what was wrong. Before he could fully open his eyes and address Zechs, he felt Zechs' warm lips upon his. Heero paused, unsure of himself and what he was suppose to do. Zechs' lips pressed into Heero's forcing some type of response. Heero moved his lips with Zechs, matching the other man's unhurried rhythm. Zechs' lips weren't as entirely smooth as they had seemed but Heero admitted he liked the feeling. He began to move enthusiastically against Zechs' mouth demanding more. Heero jumped slightly when he felt Zechs' slick tongue against his lips, asking for entrance. Unsure of anything else to do, Heero opened his mouth slightly. Zechs' tongue found its way into Heero's mouth, exploring every part of it. Heero felt himself moan instinctively as Zechs' tongue stroked and coaxed his own tongue into play. Heero responded cautiously until their tongues were playing a lazy war, that neither was too concern at winning. Zechs ran his hands through Heero hair, across his face, as if he couldn't stop touching Heero. Heero didn't mind, he was reveling in the pleasure that Zechs was giving him. He was so enthralled, that he didn't notice when one of Zechs' hands left him to retrieve his phone and press the call button.

Duo sighed in frustration as he threw his Japanese textbook on the floor. He stared at it with a scathing look that would scare even him. He didn't know why he was still studying Japanese after Heero decided they should take a break. The only reason why he was learning Japanese was so that he could understand Heero's native language and be able to communicate with him. Duo was only interested in Japanese because it had a connection to Heero. Almost anything that was associated with Heero, especially anything to do with his heritage and culture, Duo tried to learn as much as possible about. He was quite good at a Japanese by this point, as he had been studying it independently and through summer classes for about three years. He could hold standard conversations, read about 500 kanji, and without a doubt recite almost as many obscenities in Japanese. He, of course, never told Heero that he had been studying so vigorously. He thought that his true motivations would be too apparent if Heero knew. Duo didn't know exactly how, when, or even if he was going to reveal to Heero the reasons why he couldn't he had no money during the summer or why he always had extra studying to do even during holidays. He simply made excuses and studied even harder.

He sighed again and rolled onto his back. What was the point of even studying anymore? He had only parted with Heero earlier that day, but it felt like so much longer. He felt an unsettling heaviness inside knowing that Heero wouldn't be at his side at all moments of the day now. Duo knew that he was wrong; he knew that he had acted foolishly. He hadn't achieved anything that he wanted that day. He never intended to make Heero so angry or to act so childishly. He just wasn't accustomed to releasing his frustration and hurt in a constructive way. Instead, it always erupted from him in various unflattering and damaging ways. Duo had never been angrier with himself than he was at this moment. He had just potentially lost the greatest companion of his life, the one person he held in the upmost importance. Certainly, he and Heero had had fights in the past, but never had they erupted and ended in such a manner. What was more surprising and final was the fact that Heero was the one who suggested that they take time apart. Such an absurd proclamation could easy slip through the lips of Duo who often speaks from anger, but from Heero, who always maintains a logical and clear mind, even through arguments, the decision seemed almost absolute. _How could he suggest that so quickly?_ Duo wondered. He had been pondering this question for hours now; only able to reach the conclusion that this was something Heero had wanted for some time. Duo couldn't accept that, though. He needed to talk to Heero again.

Duo reached for his phone and pressed Heero number. The phone rang continuously. Duo felt his throat tighten slightly. It appeared that Heero was trying to keep true to his word. He was actually ignoring Duo's calls. Duo sighed as Heero's voicemail came on. He forced cheerfulness into his voice as he left his message.

"Hey Hee-chan! I just wanted to check up on you! You're at the studio right? Make sure to eat something, mkayy? Give me a call when you get out!" Duo groaned as he hung up the phone. Even to him the message seemed bizarre and forced. He knew Heero hated when he acted as if nothing was wrong, but Duo didn't know how else to approach the situation.

An unexpected knock on his door gave Duo a slight start. He pursed his lips slightly, not at all in the mood for any type of company. He called out for the person to open the door, knowing that he should probably force himself to be social to save from the feeling more sad than he already was. Duo, however, immediately took back his rationale when he saw Trowa walk through the door.

He sighed slightly, unable to prevent the disappointment and slight annoyance from showing on his face. Trowa gave a slight nod, shut and locked the door gently behind him. "Is everything alright? You don't look terribly happy to see me." Trowa approached slightly.

Duo rolled his eyes and dramatically fell back onto his bed. Trowa approached the bed slowly. He sat at the edge, near Duo's head. He looked down at Duo's face taking in the significant general gloom on his face. Duo squeezed his eyes tightly once before wearily looking up at Trowa. "Hey. What's up?" He asked out of courteousy more than anything else.

"Nothing much. I haven't seen you all day and I figured I would stop by. You look like something horrible has happened. What's wrong?"

Duo sighed. "Heero and I had a really big fight. I mean colossal. I don't really know where we're at right now." Trowa remained silent, an unreadable expression on his face. Duo continued, "well it was kinda my fault. But now Heero's saying crazy things and its really got me fucked up."

Trowa slowly nodded, expression still ambiguous. "What did you two fight about?"

Duo glanced up at Trowa, unsure how much he should reveal about their argument. "Well, you. Amongst other things, but it all started with you."

"Is that right?"

"Yea, Heero I guess was pissed to find out we're…" Duo left the sentence hanging, unsure of what words to use. He certainly didn't consider Trowa his boyfriend, but they did have a relationship. He supposed their dating in some sense, but at times their relationship seems more like an awkward companionship than romantic. So what could he call it? He wasn't sure and he didn't have enough energy to think it through. "He found out that we had been seeing each other. He got really pissed and things just kinda exploded. I told him that I knew he was seeing someone too. AND that I knew he was gay. The way that it came out was horrible though. I kinda yelled at him and was extremely rude. There was no way he could not be pissed at me. Can you believe he's gay AND that he's seeing someone?"

Trowa sat more erect, interest heightened. "He's dating someone? Who?"

Duo sighed, "Some guy. He's a professor in sociology here. He's smart, gorgeous, and seems to really be into Heero."

"You've met him?" Trowa inquired.

"Yea… we accidentally met once." Duo did not elaborate, but let a small blush creep onto his face at the memory of his first embarrassing encounter with Zechs. He still couldn't believe that he had done what he did and now he was a fool for it. He sighed and continued. "Then we met up again with Heero and he embarrassed the hell out of me. He's wicked smooth and made me look like a fucking idiot."

"What was Heero's reaction to all of this?"

Duo shrugged. "I dunno. He seemed confused as hell. But I wasn't about to tell him how I knew Zechs. No way in hell. So anyway, he came over a couple hours ago getting all pissy about us. Then I was all like, 'what about Zechs and you being gay' and that's when things really went to hell."

"So what was the end result?" Trowa asked.

Duo bit his bottom lip slightly, as if to prevent himself from saying the words out loud. "He wants some space. I mean, I guess we both think we're too interdependent on one another. But…but Heero wants to actually _do_ something about it." Duo glanced up at Trowa's face again. The other man held an unreadable expression. He was clearly in thought, but Duo was certain that it had little to do with ways in which he could console Duo. There was also a small look of satisfaction on his face as well, although, Duo could have been imagining it. Trowa was clearly not reacting the way he was because he understood the impact that such an argument could have on Duo, and that bothered Duo.

"What the hell is that look for?" Duo asked, not taking his eyes off Trowa.

"I'm sorry?" Trowa asked, eyes coming back to focus and resting on Duo.

"You're looking mad weird. This is serious. Do something."

"What do want me to do? You've never wanted me to act we were to together before. What do expect me to do?" Trowa's face was blank.

Duo sat up and flailed his arms in a dramatic fashion. "I don't know. Console me. Something."

Trowa looked solemnly at Duo and slowly nodded his head. He leaned in slightly closer to Duo, eyes holding a look akin to desire but not quite fully there. His movements were slow as he came to kiss Duo. Duo hands quickly coiled into a ball as he prepared himself for Trowa. They had never kissed or even touched for that matter. Their relationship was purely platonic. Duo thought that he would like to try something with Trowa, since he found him incredibly attractive, but he couldn't bring himself to make any move in that direction. This became especially true when Duo realized that Trowa perhaps didn't see Duo in a romantic sense either. Duo didn't know why then, Trowa had approached him and suggested that they start dating. Duo found it hard to move forward with Trowa, knowing he held no true feelings for him. Duo retracted ever so slightly and turned his head away in a subtle manner. Trowa leaned back and sighed. "I don't even know why I tried. Duo, I know you're not really that interested in me, but I thought you were going to give this a chance. I feel like I'm wasting my time."

Duo swallowed heavily, but did not look apologetic. "I don't know what you're expecting from me. You wanted this. I'm just going along for the ride."

"No, Duo. You used me to make Heero jealous. It obviously failed and now you're upset with me." Duo turned to look at Trowa in shock, eyes wide with astonishment that Trowa had known his motivations. He also felt a twinge of guilt as he sounded truly wicked when his motives were said out loud. Trowa smiled at Duo's response. "It's fine, though. I knew this from the moment that I met you, that I was a tool. It's fine. Neither one of us is honest, but why don't we just try this for real? Neither of us are going to get who we want, so let's just have one another for now."

Duo was silent. He stared at Trowa as if the other man had sprouted another limb. Had Duo been that obvious from the beginning? He became embarrassed as he realized that if a complete stranger could catch onto his feelings and plans, how obvious was he to those around him that actually knew him? Did he seem pathetic in their eyes? Did Heero know as well? Was that why he had suggested that they take a break because he knew about Duo's feelings and rejected them? Duo processed all these questions and scenarios simultaneously, feeling worse and worse by the moment. It took him a while to respond to Trowa, and even that wasn't a real response. "Ummm. Huh. Maybe…" was all that Duo could get out. Duo was relieved when his phone rang, giving him a desperately needed distraction.

Duo quickly grabbed the phone and looked at the caller ID: _Hee-chan_. Duo's throat tightened in anticipation and dread. He had wanted this to happen. He had wanted Heero to call him back, but now he was scared of the response. He slowly answered the phone. "Hee-chan?" he answered softly, not daring to look at Trowa, whose gaze he could feel boaring into him. There was no response on the other end. Duo spoke again, "Heero, you there?" Still no response. Duo pressed the receiver closer to his ear, as if that would make Heero speak on the other end.

He was about to hang up the phone when a sound caught his attention. He paused and listened closely. It was a somewhat faint, but Duo could defiantly make out breathing. He heard the sound of lips meeting, labored breathe, and desire. He paused, dreading what this call could mean. He heard some rustling of Heero's phone and then the sound suddenly became clearer. He clutched the phone tightly in his hands, knuckles turning white from the strain. He heard a small, passionate gasp reverberate through the phone. He was certain it came from Heero. Although he'd never heard Heero in the throws of passion before, he had often imagined what it would sound like. He often had dreams and fantasies about eliciting such sounds from Heero that he was certain he could recognize it in real life. It was a soft, reserved sound. What was making Heero sound like this, feel like this? Duo was hoping that Heero was by himself, he was desperately wishing that Heero was pleasuring himself and had accidently pressed the "last call" button. These ideas, however, were shattered once he heard another, familiar voice.

"Heero," Zechs breathed heavily. He groaned deeply as it sounded like he continued to kiss Heero. Duo felt himself grow hot with anger. He gritted his teeth. He knew he should hang up to prevent himself from experiencing any more pain or anger, but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't honestly believe what he was hearing.

"Duo?" Trowa asked timidly. He wore a worried expression, eyebrows furrowed, eyes alert. Duo's sudden change in demeanor and aura was startling. Had Heero upset him that much?

"Be quiet," Duo whispered harshly, not bothering to look at Trowa. He turned to place his feet on the floor and fully sit up, turning his back to Trowa. He listened closely for signs that something contrary to what he was thinking was happening. Heero gasped again, this time much louder than before. He released a slightly restrained the moan before becoming silent.

"Heero, this is your first time, correct?" Zechs whispered again.

"NnnHn," came Heero's labored response. Duo cringed and became slightly guilty as he felt himself slowly become hard at the sound of Heero's passionate responses. He couldn't prevent his body from recognizing the sounds as purely sexual and arousing no matter how much his mind was disgusted by it. He had long since wanted to hear such noises from Heero, but he, of course, had never wanted another person to draw those sounds from Heero.

Unable to stand the torture anymore, Duo moved to hang up the phone. As he drew the phone from his ear, he heard Heero breath intake and a ragged "Duo" escape from his mouth. Duo froze. There was a rustling noise and the line went dead.

Duo didn't move for quite some time. He was certain that Trowa was trying to say something to him, but he also certain that he had not intentions of paying Trowa any mind. Duo wasn't sure if he had heard accurately. He wasn't sure if he had just heard Heero passionately call his name. If he had heard correctly, the implications were beyond Duo's comprehension. Surely Heero had not called his name whilst making out with another man. Duo bit his lip. He couldn't deny what he had heard. _Duo_, Heero's voice had sounded so full of emotion, passion, and need of him. Heero had called for him. Despite the anger that they held for one another hours ago, despite how elusive Heero had been with his feelings, and despite his heterosexual façade, Heero had spoke his name. This excited and scared Duo simultaneously. This is what he had wanted, Heero to want him. Duo thought this was a sign that he was wanted in some capacity.

Refusing to contemplate the situation even further, as such actions had only gotten him this far over the last couple of years, Duo stood. He was going to go to the studio arts building. He wasn't sure what he was going to do there, but he knew that he needed to see Heero. He needed some form of affirmation of what he had heard. Duo searched his room for his wallet and keys, vaguely aware of Trowa's questions of inquiry.

He turned to Trowa, focusing on him for the first time since he had answered the phone. "You can lock up after you leave, right?" Without waiting for a response, Duo rushed out of the room, excitedly slamming the door behind him.

**See anti-6x2s! There's hope yet! I really don't care for anything other than 1x2x1 either, so that was painful to write ^^ and Zechs is so over the top, it's ridiculous, but I couldn't help myself. I keep envisioning him wearing a half unbuttoned silk shirt and carrying a rose in mouth. If only, then Heero would def run away… Anyway, I'll try really hard to update sooner this time, okay? Thanks so much for reading! Please R&R. **


	6. Fearless Nights

**Hi again! Sorry it took me so long to come back! I really hate editing, so this is just straight-up the way I wrote it. Sorry! I'll prob edit later! Oh, and sorry for my horrible Japanese ^^ Hope it's cool! Enjoy! Please r&r **

Heero barely moved when the door to the studio slid open again. He braced himself for a humiliating and unwanted conversation with Zechs. Heero knew that it had to be coming since Zechs had left so abruptly earlier. Heero knew that he had failed his previous mission to rid himself of his feelings for Duo when he allowed the other man's name to escape his mouth while with Zechs. It had been a subconscious slip, something that he wasn't actively thinking about. Perhaps the only person he ever envisioned doing those things to him was Duo, so his body and mind reacted as such, merging fantasy with reality. Heero wasn't quite sure what had happened but he was certain that he would never forget the look in Zechs' eyes when he pulled away from Heero. His eyes held a deep sadness and disappointment that Heero knew he would not be able to fully understand. Stranger for Heero was the fact that Zechs didn't appear angry, he didn't shout or say anything vengeful. In fact, Zechs hadn't said anything at all. It was the first time in his brief period of knowing Zechs that he had seen him at a loss for words. He had simply given Heero a slight inclination of his head and left the room silently, leaving Heero to contemplate what had happened. He felt that he had betrayed or tricked Zechs in some sense. He had told Zechs that Duo was no longer a problem, giving Zechs the signal to offer himself to Heero. Instead of treating the offer with the delicately it warranted, Heero felt as if he had thrown it back in Zechs' face. He was ashamed and embarrassed of the fact that he could not control his feelings. Because of this, he refused to look up once he heard the door open.

Silence hanged in the air for the one of the longest minutes of Heero's life. Unable to stand the gaze that he felt boring into him any longer, Heero dared a glance up. Instead of seeing the disappointed face of Zechs, Heero instead saw a flustered and disheveled Duo. His face was flush with exertion with little strands of hair framing the top of his head. He looked exhausted, unsure, and perfect. Duo was both the person that Heero wanted to and didn't want to see most at this moment. Although brief, their time apart had weighted heavily on Heero's mind. Duo stared at Heero for a while, eyes wild with uncertainty and for some reason eagerness.

"Hee-chan?" Duo said softly as he took a small step into the room. He scanned the room quickly, as if looking for something. When he apparently saw that nothing was out of place, he closed the door behind him. He didn't take any further steps into the room, as if seeking permission from Heero to continue.

"Duo," Heero managed to say, shifting uncomfortably as he realized that his excitement from earlier was apparent through his jeans. His face flushed with embarrassment as he swung his legs under the table, hoping the block the evidence from Duo.

Duo thankfully did not seem to notice anything unusual and proceeded into the room slowly. He looked the most uncertain than Heero had ever seen him, eyes darting across the room, looking at everything except for Heero. His eyes landed on Heero's sculpture and Heero felt his heart pound. The sculpture wasn't yet ready for Duo to see. He had wanted it to be perfect, only then would he feel comfortable letting Duo see it. Instead, it was incomplete and given their current relationship, Heero wasn't quite sure that it would be received well. Therefore he cringed, unable to speak, as Duo approached the sculpture. A small smile crept onto Duo's lips and he circled the sculpture, taking in every detail. Heero didn't dare speak as he watched Duo apprehensively, waiting for the inevitable criticism. Duo stopped and glanced at Heero, now wearing a genuinely pleased smile.

"Shinigami, right?"

Heero nodded, still not daring to speak.

"It has a braid..." Duo observed, expression becoming serious. "Maybe?" He couldn't finish saying what they both knew was true.

"Yes, Duo, it's you. You were my inspiration." Heero replied truthfully, admission barely coming out above a whisper.

Duo's smile grew larger, this time reaching his eyes. He didn't say anything for a while, but simply stood smiling at Heero. "It's great, Hee-chan. I…I…It's awesome. Why me?" He asked cautiously.

Heero sighed. He decided to be honest. "You're the most important thing to me. You've inspired me for four years. This final project is supposed to be a reflection and representation of our years at university. You have been my four years…so….you were my subject."

Duo was silent. He gazed at the sculpture with an unreadable expression on his face. He smiled gently and turned to Heero, gaze soft and just as uncertain as Heero was feeling. "I don't really know what to say," he paused. "I feel the same. I mean, you're my best friend, man. I didn't really have friends before I came to school, you know? Maybe a bunch of acquaintances, but that's all," he chuckled a little, "I was the most popular, friendless kid at school at one point. It's kinda fucked up when you think about it." He sighed. "It's kinda funny cause you kinda inspired my senior project too."

Heero, who had gained more confidence after Duo failed to reject his admission became interested. "Oh? What is it?"

Duo blushed for a reason that Heero couldn't understand. He stumbled over his next words. "Well…it's kinda…um…well it's not finished yet. Look, it's kinda of embarrassing, you know. I wanted to wait until it was completed and tell you about it at the right time, you know?"

Heero nodded in understanding, as he had felt the same way about his own project. This understanding, however, did not squelch Heero's interest in Duo's project. Heero felt slightly elated that he had inspired Duo's project, especially since Duo studied engineering, a field that had nothing to do with Heero at all.

Heero glanced at Duo. The smile had left his face. He had the anxious expression that he had worn when he first arrived. He chewed on his bottom lip, obviously contemplating something. He opened his mouth to speak, but then immediately closed, still trying to find a way to articulate what he wanted to say. He smiled slightly and said softly, "I guess you're not mad at he anymore, huh?"

Heero cocked his head to the side. "Eh?" With the amount of agony that Duo seemed to be going through to formulate these words, this statement seemed a little strange.

Duo paused. "I just figured from earlier…that maybe you weren't mad anymore," Duo began.

"Earlier?" Heero asked, truly confused. The only contact they had had earlier was when they had their argument. Of course Heero had been mad at that time. Heero was doubtful that even Duo could be so self-centered to think that nothing was wrong after that fight.

"Well…just when you called me. I thought you were trying to be an ass. But I guess you just wanted to tell me?" The last statement came out more as a question. Duo was starting to doubt himself as he saw Heero's continuing look of confusion.

"I never called you Duo. You called me, but I was…busy. I don't know what you're talking about." Heero said slowly.

Duo remained silent. He began to look uncomfortable, wringing his hands slightly as he tried not to make eye contact with Heero. This made Heero even more concerned. He grabbed his phone and checked recent outgoing calls. _Duo_, it read. Heero stared at the screen. _Duration: 1 min 45 sec. _Heero clutched the phone tighter. His pulse began to beat fast as his eyes made their way to the time of the call. _8:36_, it read. Heero closed his eyes. The call had been made while he had been with Zechs. _Duo_, he had cried softly while with Zechs. Had Duo heard this? Is this why he had come over suddenly with such a crazed look in his eyes? Is this why he was acting so awkward, assuming that Heero was no longer mad at him? Did he know? What did he think? Duo was so unpredictable that there was no way Heero could possibly assume to know what Duo was thinking about anything at any given moment.

As Heero opened his eyes, he felt a wave of embarrassment, shame, and self-consciousness wash over him with uncontrollable force. He didn't dare look at Duo as he quickly rose from his chair. He needed to escape the situation, to find a safe place to essentially hide in. Before he reached the door, he was held back by a firm grip.

"Nokoru…onegai…. **[1]**" Came the soft plea from Duo. Heero paused, trying to process that Duo was speaking Japanese _and _ was begging him to stay. "Hee-chan wo nokotain desu…" _I want you to stay_, he had said. Heero clenched his fists in confusion. He turned slowly to face Duo. The man was wearing such an earnest and vulnerable expression that Heero was at a loss for words. He looked completely unsure of himself, anxious and scared. Heero had to admit he was feeling the same things. Duo's hand remained on Heero's wrists as he allowed Heero time to process what was happening.

Before Heero could utter an awkward in response, Duo leaned forward and pressed his mouth against Heero's. Heero felt himself freeze as Duo's soft lips pressed against his, softly, unsurely. He felt a definite heat radiated from the spot where the their lips met and run the length of his body. His pulse quickened with excited as he inhaled Duo's sent and felt the man's hand move from his wrist to cradle the back of his head. Duo felt so soft and wonderful against Heero, as if there was never a better fit for the other. Heero's mind seemed to stop function when it came to the realization that he was kissing Duo Maxwell. It was something he had fantasized about for close to four years now. A desire that he had secretly held close to him for years was actually coming to light.

It was what he wanted, but it also scared him more than he thought it would. He was becoming overwhelmed by the sensation, situation and the previous events to fully appreciate what was happening. No matter how much he tried to force himself to relish the moment, thoughts of self-doubt and self-consciousness crept into his mind and planted a seed that he knew would be hard to remove. Uncertainty about what this kiss meant to Duo and what would come after worried Heero. Heero didn't think that he could manage if this kiss meant something different to him than it did to Heero.

He broke apart from Duo, suddenly, yet slowly. He looked into Duo's eyes. They were heavily lidded, sensual and held a look that Heero had never seen in Duo's eyes before. His lips were slightly moist, swollen, and inviting. Heero had never seen Duo like this before, looking so passionate and wanton. Duo looked at him with a small trace of surprise in his eyes. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but Heero shook his head in rejection. Duo closed his mouth, but remained focused on Heero, his previous expressed erased and replaced with concern. He gently ran his hands through Heero's unruly hair. His touch was soothing, natural, but it was too much for Heero handle. He was a coward. He had known this for a while now, and this moment was no different. He tore his eyes from Duo and ran from the room. Heero could clearly hear Duo shouting after him to wait, both in English and Japanese. Heero was not willing to stop, though. He had already started and continuing to run was far easier than facing Duo after that. Heero could also hear Duo running behind, calling out to him to wait. Heero knew that Duo was fast, but when Heero needed to run, he was undeniably faster. And at this moment, he needed to run.

Heero's lungs screamed as he refused to stop until he reached his room. He was running at full power, slightly chilled from the night air. He couldn't stop. He was running away from possible happiness but at the same time possible rejection. Heero knew that he couldn't handle the later, even if that meant possibly giving up the most desirable option. Heero was not brave enough to consider such a possibility, instead, he ran. He legs ached and the his lungs burned. He hadn't ran this hard or this fast for years. He knew that Duo had given up about a quarter of the way back to Heero's dorm. Duo wasn't the one to do much physical exercise, so Heero was certain that he had simply been too tired to continue.

When Heero reached his door, he threw himself on the floor in front of it, allowing himself to catch his breath. He placed his head between his knees and attempted to force his heart to stop beating so fast. Heero sighed heavily and slammed his head onto the door. Heero was certain that he was suppose to feel pain from that violent action, but in honesty, he couldn't feel anything at. He had become numb. His legs and lungs had stopped hurting half way to the dorm. He was now left with an even worse pain: the pain of shame, embarrassment, and worst of all the pain of potentially hurting Duo. He sighed again, reaching into his pocket for his cell phone to find nothing there. He let a curse slip from his mouth as he realized that he had left the phone in the studio.

With his heartbeat back to a normal pace, Heero stood to unlock his door, then paused. Duo had been chasing him and had followed him long enough to know that he was heading for his dorm. Surely Duo would soon catch up with him and confront him there. Heero shook his head violently, he definitely was not ready to talk about what had happened so soon. He was at a loss, trying to decided whose room he could hide in. Unfortunately, Duo was his only true friend, leaving him only acquaintances of theirs to seek help from. Heero thought of likely candidates. He thought of Wufei, but immediately scoffed at the idea. Next, he thought of Trowa. Once again, there was no way he would be willing to seek Trowa for help. He had been one of the roots of his argument with Duo in the first place. Zechs was also another obvious choice that took no time to deny. That only left Quatre. Heero supposed this was the safest choice anyway. Quatre was kind, empathetic, and understanding. While he did annoy Heero sometimes with his earnestness, he had always made it a point to try to make Heero feel included and accepted whenever he was with Duo and his friends. For that, Heero felt that Quatre was at least trust worthy in that sense.

Fortunately, Quatre's dorm was next to Heero's. Heero walked briskly to the neighboring dorm, slipped into the building after a resident, and promptly went to Quatre's door. Although he had only been there a couple of times, he had no problem remembering which and room he was in out of the twenty story building. Heero knocked timidly on the door and waited.

Quatre opened the door almost immediately and didn't seem terribly surprised when he saw that Heero waiting on the other end. Instead, he smiled softly and asked Heero to come. Heero thought for a moment about Quatre's response and why he didn't question anything only briefly. He shrugged it aside, gave a slight inclination of his head and walked into the room. Quatre's room was big, comfortable and very personalized. He didn't have a roommate as he was an RA. He had enough space for his bed, a large futon, a desk, bookcase, and small entertainment center. Although the perfect place to hang out, he rarely had people over. As an RA, he is forced to keep a certain image and stay within the rules. It would never be a good idea to have a party, especially like the ones Duo liked to have, in his dorm.

Heero sat on the edge of the futon after Quatre's urging. Quatre sat on his bed, facing Heero. He looked at Heero expectantly, but finally spoke when he realized that Heero wasn't going to speak first. "Are you alright?" He asked.

Heero remained silent. He shrugged his shoulders lightly.

"Am I going to have to play the guessing game with you?" Heero didn't respond, but Quatre took that as confirmation. "Let me…You seem really upset. You don't look like you've gotten into a fight. Hmmmm. So I'm thinking that something must have happened with you and Duo."

Heero looked up sharply, eyes round with surprise. How could Quatre possibly know what was bothering him, when he had given him no details about what was troubling him. "How did you know?"

Quatre shrugged lightly. "Well, no bruises or anything, so something emotional has to be troubling you right? The only person, or thing for that matter, that I know could possibly affect you that way is Duo."

"You don't know me very well," Heero replied. His response wasn't rude, simply factual and Quatre seemed to take it as such. He nodded his head in slight agreement.

"True, but I've seen the two of you together a lot. You may not talk a lot Heero, but you express yourself in other ways." Quatre said elusively.

"What does that mean?" he asked, slightly indignant despite the fact that he was seeking help from Quatre.

Quatre smiled softly again. "Oh, nothing. It's just that I see the way you look at Duo all the time. It's pretty obvious Heero. You have a horrible poker face." Heero felt himself go flush at Quatre's words. Had he really been that obvious? Did Duo know the entire time how he felt. Quatre sighed, interrupting Heero's thoughts. "But you both are completely clueless when I comes to things that actually matter. I can totally understand you, but Duo's got no excuse. He's done this dance before. But I guess never so seriously before." Quatre seemed like he was talking to himself more than he was talking to Heero. Heero was deeply confused by his prattling. He opened his mouth to ask was Quatre was talking about when the man's phone rang.

Quatre answered the phone quickly without even checking the caller ID first. "Hey," he said quickly, a small smile playing on his face. He nodded a couple of times and grunted a couple times in agreement. "Good luck," he said softly before hanging up the phone. Quatre stood abruptly, a wide grin playing on his face. He turned to Heero, not at all waivered by Heero's steely look of confusion and suspicion.

"Kennedy is having some issues and they're short staff, so I've been called in to help out a little," Quatre started. Kennedy was one of the dorms near theirs and the home of over 600 Freshman. There was always some issue in the building, ranging from fights, drugs, riots, noisiness and alcohol issues. It didn't surprise Heero at that they would need some re-enforcements on a Friday night. Heero nodded his head in understanding. "So, I'll probably have to work the night shift or something like that. I'll probably just crash at another RA's room for the night. You're welcome to stay, though. I know you're trying to hide out." Heero opened his mouth to ask Quatre how he could possibly know this, but was cut off when Quatre answered the unspoken question. "We're not close Heero. I figure the only reason why you would come to me is if you're hiding from Duo or you want to hang out. I'm somehow willing to bet my life that it's not the last one." Heero was silent. "So, I have some hot pockets in the fridge, there are drinks under the bed, sheets for the futon in the closet, and the remote for the TV is on the stand," Quatre informed as he gathered the items he would need from the night and placed them in a backpack. "But try not to be too loud, Heero, I do have neighbors," he added.

Heero was slightly annoyed with Quatre's assumption that he would take advantage of the room and be noisy, but his annoyance was calmed when he reminded himself that Quatre was letting him spend the night, with virtually not questions asked. Heero was grateful for that. He gave Quatre a short nod as the man left, bag slung over one shoulder.

Heero sat against the futon and stared at the door. Although he simply wanted to the a place to hid, he also had wanted something to distract him from his problems with Duo. Instead, he had been left alone with nothing to do but think about that problem. Heero was also dwelling on what Quatre said about Heero and Duo. Heero shook his head, as if to clear all thoughts from his mind. He spread out the futon and sprawled across it. He draped one arm over his eyes, sighed, and drifted into a welcoming sleep. Heero didn't sleep very soundly, he had the same reoccurring nightmare that he always had. Whether it was a flashback or pure imagination, Heero couldn't tell, but it always haunted him nonetheless. He was small, no older than five years old. He was in a dark room, alone. There were no windows, no color, no noise, nothing. He was in complete isolation. The five year old version of himself was crying, the sounds seemed to echo in the room and only re-enforce his loneliness. No one came to his aid to see if he was injured. He was frighteningly cold and hungry. There was no movement outside of the cold, dark door that separated him from the rest of the world. The child wandered around the room, in search of comfort, but was unable to find any source of comfort, not even a stuffed animal. The loneliness and fear brought on by the loneliness was more painful that the cold and hunger that the child felt.

Heero jerked awake, skin slightly clammy from his nightmare, at the sound of rapping against the door. Heero sat up erect, not expecting anyone to come to Quatre's door and unsure how to react. He started to stand when the door opened without invitation. Duo stepped into the room and closed the door firmly, locking it behind him. Heero stood, shocked and slightly panicked. Duo looked solemnly at Heero, face completely serious and assured. He no longer had the fearful look he did earlier, instead he looked like a man who had a mission to complete and that nothing was going to deter him from his cause. Heero felt his stop drop at this sight. He knew this look very well and it meant that there was virtually no way that Heero was going to escape this dreaded conversation.

"I've been looking for you all over Heero. Thank god I know you so well," Duo said, slight quiver in his voice giving away the true unease that he felt despite the strong poker face he was giving.

"How did you know I was here?" Heero asked.

Duo gave a slight smile. "Quatre was my friend first, remember? I knew there was no way you would go to your dorm and I figured Quatre would be the only person you would go to. I called him soon after I lost you, gave him the heads up."

Heero nodded more to himself than to Duo. That certainly explained why Quatre seemed unsurprised by everything. Heero sighed. "You found me," Heero replied lamely.

"Why did you run away?" Duo asked directly. There was no contempt or accusation in his voice, just simply concern. Heero glanced at Duo, his face was slightly flushed, his clothes disheveled from chasing Heero earlier. He still looked stunning, however. Heero gritted his teeth, hoping to buy more time. "Hee-chan?" Duo urged. Heero had always told Duo that he hated the grammatically incorrect pet name that he had given him, but he actually found the name endearing and found himself responding more to it. Obviously, Duo did know him well enough to know this fact and decided to chase that route to get Heero to talk.

"I…" he began, not thinking he could finish. "I really don't think I can talk about this," he finished, hoping to end the conversation there.

"Why not? Why can't you talk to me Heero? _Me_?" Duo asked. He took a step closer and Heero found himself taking a reactionary step backward.

"I'm just not good at this. I don't know. It's embarrassing. I…why did you…kiss me?" Heero asked.

Duo shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Simple. Because I love you."

Heero froze, ears ringing, heart pounding. He was almost certain that he hadn't heard correctly. He swallowed heavily. He looked into Duo's eyes. He saw that they were honest, vulnerable…beautiful. Duo came closer again, but Heero was too transfixed to react. "Duo?" Heero questioned.

Duo smiled slightly. "Hee-chan. I'm tired of this back and forth. We're bout to graduate. I…I've been in love with you for four years now. Hearing you on the phone today…I guess it gave the courage to do something. Finally." Duo took another step forward, the same small smile on his face despite the uncertainty of his next words. "Do you not feel the same?"

Heero swallowed heavily again and decided not to think. "No. I…I do. I…" He couldn't complete his thoughts, he tried to think but, he was still too new to this to actually convey what he was feelings.

"Why don't you do something about it." It wasn't a question, but more of a command or an instruction telling Heero to do what they both knew he was cable of and wanted to do.

Heero closed the remaining space between he and Duo. He looked into Duo's eyes and found enough unyielding trust to allow him to forget his self-consciousness and fears of failure. The softness, understanding, and affection in Duo's eyes gave Heero the strength to follow what he had instinctively wanted all along. He just couldn't understand why he hadn't seen it in Duo's eyes before. Duo smiled gently as Heero reached a timid hand to cup his cheek. Duo closed his eyes and fell into the touch, turning slightly to lightly kiss Heero's palm. Heero brought his lips to meet Duo's for the second time that day. The amount of emotion that he felt this time was no different than the first. Duo tasted like everything he had expected him to. Duo leaned into the kiss, draping his arms around Heero's neck to pull him closer. What had started as a tender kiss soon turned into an urgent kiss of need, seeking to relieve the tension that had been built up for four years. Heero felt Duo's tongue move over his bottom lip, causing him to shudder. He eagerly opened his mouth to Duo and truly tasted him for the first time. Their tongues spared urgently, playfully as they sought to taste one another. Heero was determined to commit Duo's taste to memory as he explored and assault the other man's mouth. His hands found their way to the small of Duo's back and traveled to cup his bottom. Duo's bottom was pert, firm, perfect. Heero gave Duo a squeeze and pulled Duo's body tightly against his. Duo let out a gasp, soon turned into moan at the simultaneous sensations of Heero's hands on him and their erections meeting for the first time.

Duo broke free of Heero's lips to kiss a trail from his mouth to his neck, where he licked, sucked and kissed Heero into a panting mess of a man. He threw his head back to give Duo better access revealing in the sensations Duo was giving him. Duo paused at Heero's collar bone, finding that Heero's shirt blocked him from where he wanted to go. Duo urgently removed Heero's shirt as did he relieved Duo's of his. Duo's mouth and hands were on him immediately, feeling his strong back and kissing down his chest until he reached Heero's left nipple. Duo quickly lapped at the pert nub before taking it into his mouth. Heero let out a hiss of surprise and pleasure as Duo sucked him. He's never really imagined that he could get such pleasure from his nipples. He honestly wasn't sure if it was an actual sensitive spot for him or if it only felt incredible because Duo was the one doing it him. Duo gently bit the stub before giving it an apologetic lick and moving to its twin. Heero released another shuddered gasp as Duo began a new assault on his right nipple. Heero didn't know what to do with his hands. He wanted to touch Duo too, to give him pleasure as well, but he didn't know how. His hands instead, found their way into Duo's hair. He attempted to remove the band before Duo straightened up and looked into his eyes. His eyes were the same as they had been in the studio, beautiful, pure, lustful, honest.

His words were barely over a whisper when he said, "Not yet. Soon." Heero nodded without questions and removed his hands from Duo's braid. He instead brought one hand to gingerly caress Duo's face, still slightly unconvinced that this was actually happening. Duo responded by bringing Heero into another fierce kiss, crushing his lips against Heero's urgently. He moved Heero back toward the futon and lightly pushed Heero on top of it. Heero allowed himself to lay onto the open futon, expecting Duo to follow. When he didn't, Heero propped himself on his elbows to see why Duo was hesitating. Duo stood at the base of the futon, his unsure expression returning.

"No one's ever... I've never…shown," Duo blushed slightly. He tried again, "Ore wa doutein desu…**[2]**"

Heero smiled in relief, astonishment at Duo's Japanese, and the pure vulnerability that Duo was showing. "Daijoubu…ore…ore mo.** [3]**" Duo smiled at Heero's acceptance and his own admittance. Duo slowly brought his hands to his belt and slowly undid the buckle. Heero felt his pulse quicken in anticipation. Duo undid the button of his jeans and paused. He glanced up at Heero, seeking encouragement. Heero knew that no words were needed, but that Duo just needed to see the approval, desire and love in his eyes to continue. Duo did and it one rushed movement, he shoved his pants down to his ankles. Heero grinned wildly at the semi-naked form in front of him. Duo was wearing Doraemon decorated boxer briefs. Duo cocked his hips to the side in fake indignation. "What? I didn't know anyone would be seeing these today! I'd like to see what you've got on!"

Heero flushed slightly. "I actually don't wearing underwear," he admitted.

Duo froze slight. "Hee-chan. Now don't say that to me. You're just going to make me want to jump you more," he said in all seriousness, a small smile still playing on his lips. Heero took in Duo for a moment. Duo had a slight frame, but still looked solid, strong. His muscles were lean and well defined. A trail a little chestnut colored hairs could be seen trailing from the bottom of his flat stomach into his…Heero swallowed heavily as he took in the only part of Duo's bottom which still remained hidden. Heero could see Duo's erection pressing hard and eagerly against the material, straining for release. Heero felt himself growing harder with anticipation.

Duo finally removed the boxer briefs and Heero couldn't help but groan slightly at the mere sight of him. Duo was gorgeous, properly proportioned and obviously wanting Heero. It was Heero's first time seeing a man naked, erection at high attention…for him. "Duo…I…you're breathing taking," was all that Heero could manage, knowing that those simple words could never convey what he was feeling.

Duo blushed deeply and approached the bed. "Hee-chan, I think it's your turn now." Duo kneeled at the end of the bed leaned in to capture Heero's mouth again. Heero jerked as he felt Duo's hand caress his erection through his pants. Duo's touches were light, fleeting, but they caused Heero such a reaction. Duo began to caress Heero deeper, faster, more frequently. Heero ripped his mouth from Duo's to moan a stifled groan. He squeezed his eyes shut as he gave his senses over to the pleasure Duo was giving him. He felt his stomach clench and coil as became ready for release. He hadn't wanted to come like this but he didn't have the will to stop Duo, it felt far too good. Heero prepared himself for release when Duo stopped suddenly. Heero let out a hiss in protest and opened his eyes to see Duo smirking. "You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you?" He grinned. Duo brought his hands to the button of Heero's pants and within record timing, unbuttoned and unzipped them. Without hesitation or fear, Heero lifted his hips to help Duo slides his down and off. Duo carelessly threw the pants onto the floor behind him.

Heero looked at Duo, completely naked and vulnerable in front of him. Duo ran his eyes down the length of his body, taking in every aspect of Heero, pausing at his weeping erection.

"Hee-chan. You're fucking amazing. Sorry for calling you Saint Prude earlier." There was no smile on his face this time, desire had completely taken over. He climbed the length of Heero's body and captured his mouth again Duo ground their erections together, causing them both to gasp. He continued to rub against Heero, running his hands through Heero's hair. Heero vigorously kissed him back as he ran his hands the length of Duo's back and down to his bottom, which was already becoming familiar. Duo's skin was incredibly soft and smooth, so much so that Heero had to taste it. He flipped them over so that they were on top. Duo released a yelp of surprise but didn't complain at all. He reached up and joined their lips again. Heero broke free and finally tasted Duo's creamy skin. It was slightly salty but also uniquely Duo. Heero inhaled his sent, committing it to memory.

He kissed his way down Duo's body until he came onto the nest of little hairs surrounding his erection. Heero paused, slightly unsure of himself. He had never done this before or even seen how to do it. He only knew it was suppose to be desirable for the recipient. He wanted to do this for Duo, he just didn't know how. He glanced up at Duo. Duo's breathe was slightly ragged, face covered in a beautiful sheen of sweat. He licked his lips slightly before saying, "we're nothing but animals Hee-chan. Let nature take over." He thrust his hips up slightly for emphasis. Heero understood completely. He carefully leaned forward and tasted Duo for the first time. It was overwhelming. Duo tasted like so many things that Heero couldn't possibly describe them. He lightly licked a line from the base of Duo's erection to the tip, reveling in the taste and the mewling sounds coming from Duo. He sucked lightly on the tip before taking the rest of Duo into his mouth. It was awkward and somewhat uncomfortable, but those feelings were far outweighed by the feeling of holding Duo in his mouth. Duo gasped as Heero began to suckle him, bobbing his head in a smooth rhythm. Heero quickened his pace, taking more and more of Duo with every swoop.

"Heero!" Duo's ragged voice resounded through the room as he began to thrust up into Heero's mouth. He brought his hands into Heero's head, in desperate need to hold on to something. Heero sucked harder and eagerly took in every thrust that Duo made. Heeo experimentally ran his hands along the clef of Duo's bottom, until he found what he was sure would be his main destination. Duo gasped loudly as Heero placed pressure against the entrance. His thrusts became more sporadic and uncontrolled as Heero lightly and oh, so barely pushed the tip of his finger in. Duo shouted his name and in one last thrust, spilled himself into Heero's mouth. Heero found it difficult to swallow it all but managed. He found the whole thing completely erotic and beautiful. Duo's body's relaxed onto the futon, completely sated. Heero crawled back up Duo and captured his lips, forcing his tongue into Duo's mouth, allowing him to taste himself. Duo groaned deeply at the sensuality of it all. His arms locked tightly around Heero's neck pulling him closer.

"Heero," he said softly, breaking away and looking into Heero's eyes. "Heero…I need you in me, now." He thrust his hips up again, rubbing Heero's attention deprived erection. Heero couldn't prevent the groan that escaped his mouth. "But we need some help." Duo looked around the room and smiled when his eyes fell upon a small bag on the table next to the futon. "The bag, Hee-chan."

Heero reached over, without question but with curiosity, and retrieved the bag. He looked inside and saw a small bottle of lube.

"Compliments of Quatre," Duo smiled. Heero smiled as well. Although inexperienced, he knew what to do next. Like Duo had said, they were animals and his instincts knew what to do. He just needed to follow them for once. Heero lubricated Duo's entrance and then his hand. He swooped down to kiss Duo again as he pushed his index finger into Duo. Heero paused at the first knuckle. Duo ripped his mouth from his and groaned deeply. Heero took that as a sign to continue. He continued to push the finger in until it could go no further. Heero looked cautiously at Duo. He look slightly uncomfortable but smiled for Heero to continued. Heero slowly moved his finger out and then back in again. Duo let out a light hiss at the sensation and pushed back on Heero's finger. Heero slowly added a second and made scissor-like movements to better prepare Duo. When he thought Duo was ready, he added a third. He began to quicken the pace of his thrusts, with Duo now eagerly meeting them. Heero was about to pull out when he hit something in Duo that caused the most erotic reaction that Heero had seen yet from Duo. Duo rose slightly, a loud groan escaping his lips as Heero struck that special bundle of nerves inside him. Heero tried to find that same spot again.

"Ahhh, god. Hee~ro!" Duo managed to get out, eyes squeezed shut. Heero honestly couldn't stand the sight anymore, Duo naked, gleaming with sweat, erection already apparent even after coming earlier, and moaning for him. Shouting _his_ name. It was far too much for Heero. He removed his fingers much to Duo's sound of protest. He quickly lubricated his still weeping erection and positioned himself.

Duo sat up and looked into Heero's eyes. Despite the urgency that his body felt, Heero found himself lost in Duo's gaze. All of Duo's emotions of love, lust, desire, trust were apparent and made Heero want him even more. Duo slowly brought his braid over his shoulder and shyly looked at Heero. Heero held his breath as Duo removed the band and deftly undid his braid. He shook it out so that it tumbled around his lithe frame and onto the bed. It was breathtaking. Heero brought a hand Duo's face and caressed it softly. He had long had fantasies about making love to Duo with his hair down, but non had compared to the real thing. He kissed Duo chastely before lowering him back onto the bed, hair fanning across him in a pseudo halo. Heero leaned back and positioned himself again.

"Duo, open your eyes," Heero instructed as Duo had shut them tightly. He looked up at Heero, several emotions playing in his eyes, none of them being fear. Staring into Duo's eyes, Heero slowly entered him. He watched as pleasure and pain flickered across Duo's face. His eyebrows furrowed and from his mouth escaped a sharp groan. Heero pushed in to the hilt and paused, willing himself to give Duo time to adjust. Duo was incredibly tight, wonderful, and so _alive_. It was the only way Heero could describe it. He felt Duo's being pulsating around, unconsciously pulling him deeper in. The feeling was completely overwhelming and addictive. Duo gave a slight nod and Heero pulled out and pushed back in again slowly. Duo bit his bottom lip in obvious pain.

"Duo, are you sure? Are you ok?" Heero asked, pausing again.

"Heero, I've been waiting for four years. I've been sure since I met you." He responded raggedly. To accentuate his point, he moved from Heero then impaled himself hard on Heero's member. Heero gasped at the sensation, forgetting about any uncertainties that he may have had before. He simply let his instincts take over. He pulled out and thrusted hard into Duo once again. Duo threw his head back and groaned again. Heero quickened his pace, moving at a comfortable rhythm. Duo wrapped his legs around Heero, holding him closer, pushing him in deeper. Heero grunted at the sensation. Duo was impossibly tight and hot to the point that Heero couldn't move fast enough to sate his own needs. Heero hit that place in Duo again, causing the man to now scream his name. Heero concentrated and repeatedly struck that place, never more than twice in a row. Heero reached down Duo's body and grasped his erection and pumped it in synch with his own thrusts. Duo rose to met each of Heero's thrust. The two became perfectly in synch, working like a well oiled machine. It was incredibly natural, as if Heero were suppose to fit with Duo this way. Heero felt himself coming closer to the edge as he continued to thrust harder, faster, and almost uncontrollably. He'd never felt something like this before, or even dreamed that anything could ever feel this good. The only sound that resounded in the room was the sound of this bodies joining and the beautiful wails of pleasure coming from Duo. Heero remained almost silent, his ragged breath his only contribution to their orchestra. Heero gave one final, solid thrust into Duo before his completion, unable to stop the loud "Duo!" that tore from his lips. He pumped Duo a few more times until Duo came as well, back arched in absolute pleasure, his essence spilling onto his own belly and Heero's hands .

Heero collapsed on top of Duo, breath uncontrollably erratic. Duo brought his hands to Heero's moist hair and caressed him until he had his breathing under control. Heero reluctantly pulled from Duo, already missing the comfort and familiarity of being inside him. He propped himself onto his elbow and kissed Duo slowly, unhurriedly. When they separated a smile crept onto both of their faces. They were both tired, covered in one another's sent, sweat, everything.

"Aishiteru, Hee-chan, **[4]**" Duo said softly.

"Aishiteru. Itsumo, Koi,**[5]**" Heero said, placing a small kiss over Duo's heavy eyelids.

"I'm so happy I spent all that time studying Japanese," Duo said sleepily, nuzzling into the crook of Heero's neck.

Heero smiled and wrapped his arms around Duo tightly. "Yes, when did you start learning?"

Duo closed his eyes and sighed contently. "A week after Freshman orientation. You know the day that we first met." He smiled and place a butterfly kiss onto Heero's neck before drifting off to sleep.

Heero placed a chaste kiss a top of his forehead and smiled warmly at himself. He couldn't believe what had just happened, who was in his arms, and how fearless they both had been. It had been incredible to free himself of inhibitions. He would have never dreamed Duo would be his, would choose him. But he had, for close to four years now. Heero felt foolish as he looked down at the sleeping Duo. He felt foolish that he had waited so long, that they could have had more moments like this for four years by now. He sighed, simply grateful that he had finally gotten his chance before he left. He looked down at Duo anxiously, realizing that they're time together would be limited and that he would soon have to leave Duo after graduation. He stopped that train of thought. He refused to allow such thoughts to occupy him. He wasn't going to get sad, not now, not at a moment like this. He pulled Duo tighter to him and fell into a deep sleep of his own.

**[1]** Stay…please

**[2]**I'm a virgin (so that's why I'm hesitating…)

**[3] **It's ok. Me too (^^)

**[4]** I love you

**[5]** I love you. Always, love

Sorry guys. I was playing around with grammar so that's why the Japanese is all types of messed up. Aaaaand I'm not good at Romanizing Japanese either. I need Duo to tutor me *pouts*

**A/N: Sorry for those that wanted to see Zechs' rejection in real time **** Maybe I'll update that later? And is poor Trowa still chillin' in Duo's room by himself? Maybe he and Zechs should start a "Heero rejected us" support group or something…What do you think? Oh, so there's one more chapter that will lead to a sequel or you can end here with an angst free happy ending (but you know you don't wanna!). Please R&R! **


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